@DaddyJew

https://xitter.cf/t.co/Khbo6khxhO

 Baltimore, MD
Joined November 2011
  • Tweets29.9K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers38.9K
157Media
I still expect you’ll find me at the end
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DaddyJew retweeted
chris
@1vysaurs18h
babe are u okay? you barely fed our confusing bond today
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DaddyJew@DaddyJew11 Sep 2014
It's weird how we make just enough money to support our bad habits
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Pia Nacar@Kimgee8Oct 17
Don’t forget to save yourself from yourself.
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I came. I saw. I made it worse.
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Truth be told, I'm thankful there are filters for some of you.
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Do people who like Bloody Marys know that cocktails that taste good actually exist?
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What do people who ask “what’s up” want from us?
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Why did they call it ocular lubricant and not ‘moistyoureyeser’?
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DaddyJew retweeted
Lori@Cornjerker7821 Nov 2025
Me: I know I said I like a man in uniform but… *guy in beekeeper’s outfit walks sadly away*
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sorry about the drool while i watched you walk away.
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FR4CKER@fr4ckerjackOct 14
At the orgy, making sure everyone feels heard and included.
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DaddyJew@DaddyJewOct 8
*flicks cigarette* yeah i know the muffin man
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Sometimes I feel guilty because I'm funnier than you.
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My favorite ingredient in trail mix is the Xanax.
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This tweet was posted without the express written permission of Major League Baseball if you're looking for a bad boy
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DaddyJew retweeted
meghan
@deloisiveteOct 14
Them: you need to lower your cortisol Me: best I can do is get really annoyed at every other driver at this 4-way stop
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DaddyJew retweeted
Lori@Cornjerker788 May 2024
Me after eating just the bacon out of a salad: three more salads please
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chase@_chase_____Oct 14
do u want to hear the good news first or the bad news first? or the weird news? i also have horse news but that can wait
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"Are you taking advantage of your employer 401k match" UH the employer should be taking advantage of my offer not to release sixty live frogs into the ventilation shaft
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