Sneaky bastard caught a baer selfie. Almost got him.
Illinois, USA
Joined September 2011
- Tweets1.1K
- Following1.2K
- Followers1.4K
- Likes860
Anthony Baer retweeted
When you're about to tell them that last night was fun but you don't want a relationship right now
Anthony Baer retweeted
[Rock Paper Scissors]
Rock: As if a scrap of paper could hurt me.
*Paper unfolds itself, revealing a message*
YOUR PARENTS NEVER LOVED YOU
Anthony Baer retweeted
This girl I've had a secret crush on for years just got engaged on Facebook. Just wait until she notices I didn't like it.
Anthony Baer retweeted
*turns up to a yoga class in full Master Yoda costume*
"Oh dear. Misread the flyer, I have."
Anthony Baer retweeted
Some people see faces in objects, but I see objects in faces. All of you look like electrical outlets.
Anthony Baer retweeted
So it turns out that as an adult you can eat chocolate cake for breakfast if you want - there is literally no one policing this.
Anthony Baer retweeted
If folks go for a high-5, I poke the center of their palm w my index finger. Simple gesture, really; yet it always causes mental distress.
Anthony Baer retweeted
Yelling "fuck you" at a stranger is the rudest way to feel great. I love driving.
Anthony Baer retweeted
Haha I don't care. I don't care even a little, haha. Haha, lol if you think I care. I was up all night last night not caring. Hahaha. Lmao.
Anthony Baer retweeted
The bad news is, I broke a mirror. The good news is, I used a shard to cut the foot off a rabbit!!
Anthony Baer retweeted
Meanwhile, does it count as trolling if my mom occasionally favs one of my tweets about her just to let me know she's watching?
Anthony Baer retweeted
Just found out my audition tape for “Magic Mike” was immediately sent over to “Tragic Mike.”
