@AmberTozer

Author of SOBER STICK FIGURE - a dark and silly story about alcoholism https://xitter.cf/t.co/kXc0LPQ5PH

 I'm right here
Instagram.com/ambertozer/
Joined January 2009
  • Tweets20.8K
  • Following1.7K
  • Followers47.8K
671Media
Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them
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If an aggressive person calls you a pushover for having empathy say "you're right!" then push them over
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My friend in England asked, "How's it going in America?"  I said, "The good news is: we're taking time off from working ourselves to death. The bad news is, it's because we either in a fire, a flood, or have explosive diarrhea. Other than that it's fine.
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NOW ANNOUNCED! 2024 Adaptation results: - WINNER - "180 Days" by Alfredo Botello - RUNNER-UP - "Sober Stick Figure" by @AmberTozer Beyond excited to work with these two vastly talented writers and help push their projects to film or TV... 🦊 bookpipeline.com/2024-adapta…
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Was trying to be more curious than judgmental when dealing with people who upset me but I am gonna go back to straight up judging ‘em
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AmberTozer retweeted
AmberTozer@AmberTozer9 Sep 2024
Little animation I made with my nieces for ⁦@taylorswift13⁩ 💜
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Little animation I made with my nieces for ⁦@taylorswift13⁩ 💜
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AmberTozer retweeted
wint
@dril29 Sep 2023
been gaming surrounded by Black Mold for 30 yrs. so when i game in a clean room its like the training weights come off & i become full power
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When are all the influencers gonna stop
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Women my age keep telling me I should try hormonal replacement therapy and I am like fuck you I am gonna get fat and mean like the good Lord intended
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For years I tortured myself trying to become rich and famous and then I realized all I needed was a dog
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This is the best thing in the history of life.
This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
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AmberTozer retweeted
wint
@dril15 Jul 2023
computer please generate 7 more godfather movies for $0 and make them all really good
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wint
@dril3 Mar 2023
every waiter who has ever ejaculated into my food Fuck you
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AmberTozer retweeted
Robert Reich
@RBReich29 Apr 2023
Exxon just reported record profits for the first quarter of this year, raking in $11.43 billion. The oil giant now has $33 billion cash on hand. Say it with me, corporate greed is driving inflation, not workers demanding better wages and benefits.
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Do you wanna be in my family all you have to do is not communicate and buy all your gifts at Ross
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AmberTozer retweeted
wint
@dril22 Mar 2023
"your posts suck ass now " my posts have always sucked Ass . You are just mad at me for some reason
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You know you've made some questionable life choices when you find yourself living back in your hometown with two emotional support animals wondering how much it'll cost to get a few tattoos removed
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To protect the profits of gun manufacturers, the NRA has convinced too many Americans that more guns in more places makes us safer. But 400,000,000 guns in the hands of civilians coupled with weak gun laws have given us a 25 times higher gun homicide rate than any peer nation.
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I was on a break from making big mistakes but I am ready to get going again
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AmberTozer retweeted
Paul Myers@pulmyears2 Oct 2022
I love how this clip gets rediscovered and posted year after year - and every year, more people get to feel the joy of it
Khai
@ThamKhaiMeng2 Oct 2022
This is genius. Italian singer Adriano Celentano released a song in the 70s with nonsensical lyrics meant to sound like American English—to prove that Italians would just love any American song. And it was a hit.
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