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DrunjAF

@DrunjAF

No one normal would say this shit. https://xitter.cf/t.co/MJzyH0ZAph

 🇨🇦
xitter.cf/drunjaf/timelines/537758246962860033
Joined August 2013
  • Tweets34K
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  • Followers7.6K
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Photo by DrunjAF (@DrunjAF)Photo by DrunjAF (@DrunjAF)Photo by DrunjAF (@DrunjAF)
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex's car.
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When I leave this place, it won’t be because it changed ownership… it will be because a serial killer finally found me worthy.
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There's no socket wrench set that doesn't open with the sockets spilling out everywhere
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The coronavirus vaccine doesn’t scare me. I’ve willingly put more toxic things in my body. (Reflects on exes).
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My fragrance? It’s called Negligence by Dior.
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The only time that you'll see me running is if I'm being chased by a knife-wielding crazy person or if the potatoes are boiling over on the stove.
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What kind of mother sends her child to live with his Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air after got into one little fight?
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Imagine the frustration if no one ever asked James Bond his name and he didn't get to emphasize his surname?
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DrunjAF retweeted
CJ (@BrassBallsCJ) profile picture
CJ@BrassBallsCJ12 Nov 2020
I hate when I take a shower with makeup on and when the mirror clears I’m staring at Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
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What wine pairs best with a day that feels like a month?
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Woman: "We need to take it slow." Man: "K" (obeys) Woman: (notices he hasn't texted in 2 hours) screams at phone "Why are you ignoring me you MF!?!?!"
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You don’t need to fall in love to live a life full of love.
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When this pandemic ends, I'll be hugging random strangers in the mall.
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Has anyone taken this situation to tell someone how they really feel about them? Please say, “yes”.
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Not gonna lie, I do miss random hugs from the coworker who fancied herself a modern day pirate wench with cleavage so deep it could teach philosophy.
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I’m not as popular as the whores. Thank fuck for that.
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Remember when romaine lettuce was your biggest fear?
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He said he'd like to tap me but this bitch ain't no keg.
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Feeling down? Alone? Unhappy? There are people out there who are friends with Ben Affleck. Cheer up. It could be worse.
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