♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching) profile picture

♠️ James ♠️

@pplwtching

One time I was hit on in a Walmart parking lot. I delete @'s so you look like you talk to yourself.

 Futures, options, short Vol
Joined April 2014
  • Tweets108K
  • Following12.2K
  • Followers16.1K
36Media
Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)Photo by ♠️ James ♠️ (@pplwtching)
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Kelly B (@ChaosBubbles85) profile picture
Kelly B@ChaosBubbles8524 Jun 2024
Why does Chuck E Cheese have pizza in stores. It’s not even edible in store… so why is there a market for it 🤦🏻‍♀️
Image from Kelly B (@ChaosBubbles85)
1
2
260
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
You’re the worst (@OMGSoOverIt) profile picture
You’re the worst@OMGSoOverIt26 Sep 2020
Love note before marriage: You’re perfect and I love you so much. Love note after marriage: You forgot to take the fucking garbage out, again.
7
33
1
69
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
your other mom (@difficultpatty) profile picture
your other mom
@difficultpatty15 Dec 2019
Twitter is for people who don’t like to poop alone.
365
1,344
103
4,551
My latest ex called me today. Of course I could still fuck him, but I think I'm just gonna swallow a couple razor blades instead.
4
9
1
31
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
k. (@kaywaitwhat) profile picture
k.@kaywaitwhat1 Aug 2020
what I lack in friendships I make up for with corn chips
6
17
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Tony (@tsm560) profile picture
Tony@tsm56024 Aug 2020
Safe to say not a single one us is living our best life right about now
16
172
3
385
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Tony (@tsm560) profile picture
Tony@tsm56024 Aug 2020
Shoulda coulda woulda fucked right off
3
70
137
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) profile picture
Twin Dad@TwinSurvivalist25 Jun 2020
If "rubbin' is racin'," then I am racing my wiener all the time.
20
34
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) profile picture
Twin Dad@TwinSurvivalist13 Mar 2020
I'm keeping my blood alcohol levels high out of an abundance of caution.
3
86
1
170
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) profile picture
Twin Dad@TwinSurvivalist14 Mar 2020
Mayo > Mustard > Any other condiment Please discuss. Elsewhere.
1
5
13
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) profile picture
Twin Dad@TwinSurvivalist14 Mar 2020
[Watching Family Ties] When do they start with the knots?
36
1
52
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) profile picture
Twin Dad@TwinSurvivalist15 Mar 2020
I think I just sprained my arm knee.
1
12
1
29
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) profile picture
Twin Dad@TwinSurvivalist16 Mar 2020
Because of the CDC recommendation, the gang bang this Wednesday at Warren's house will be capped at 24. Get there early!
5
36
1
86
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Winosaurus Mom 🍷 (@winosaurusmom) profile picture
Winosaurus Mom 🍷@winosaurusmom15 Mar 2020
I think I have enough Reese's eggs to get through this thing. I think.
2
5
14
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Winosaurus Mom 🍷 (@winosaurusmom) profile picture
Winosaurus Mom 🍷@winosaurusmom16 Mar 2020
I really hope all that time my husband spends in the bathroom isn't spent pooping because we don't have any extra toilet paper stockpiled.
2
2
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Winosaurus Mom 🍷 (@winosaurusmom) profile picture
Winosaurus Mom 🍷@winosaurusmom16 Mar 2020
Does anybody actually remember what their resolution was back in January?
1
11
1
17
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Winosaurus Mom 🍷 (@winosaurusmom) profile picture
Winosaurus Mom 🍷@winosaurusmom16 Mar 2020
I was going to go on a diet, but all this virus stuff has me hiding in the pantry eating Cheetos like the world is ending.
7
13
♠️ James ♠️ retweeted
Winosaurus Mom 🍷 (@winosaurusmom) profile picture
Winosaurus Mom 🍷@winosaurusmom16 Mar 2020
CDC: Avoid social gatherings and close contact. My boss: Be at work at 8 a.m. for an all-day staff meeting to discuss ways to not spread the virus.
3
4
Me: *walks in with black eye* Mom: WTF happened? I wasn’t drinking last night!
2
4
I walk with a pretty dramatic limp from my front door to my car, this is done in the hopes that a neighbouring parents sees me and forces one of their kids to shovel my snow or cut the lawn.
5
10
Load more