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dream logic is so weird. you’ll be exploring an underwater shipwreck but you’ll also be like “this is the walmart that my dad owns.”
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it’s funny they call them “unidentified flying objects”. I could identify them right away. those are ufos
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Workin’ on some new recipes for the folks inside Area 51 👽 The Radioactive Ribs are lookin’ goooooood 🔥🔥🔥
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Not sure if I usually have a calm demeanor about stuff because I'm emotionally mature or because I'm dead inside.
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1 wk till Vegas (again) - our organs luv us @LexieButtle 🍾🍳🎶🔞
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Replying to @TIME
Hi @TIME I fixed your headline for you. Don't want to spell rapist wrong. #usetherightwords
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I like to drink 4 cups of coffee on an empty stomach so that every interaction feels like the Cuban Missile Crisis.
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I'm really just not good at making decisions, driving, being an adult, life in general
























