I’m back bitches

New York, NY
Joined March 2010
People keep talking about authenticity but I think the real problem is lighting.
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My biggest political belief is that if you’re going to have strong opinions, you should at least have good hair.
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Best of luck in your quest to literally be the most annoying person I've ever met! You're almost there.
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Can anyone hear me?
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Celsius feels like the first energy drink that I see women drink (including me), mostly due to their branding. I think theres a huge opportunity to do that with beer.
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BABE WALKER retweeted
iced coffee is my Roman empire
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Can't believe Twitter outlived the Queen
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Your hair stylist is punching the air rn after you begged them to make you blonder all summer.
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Me: Would you still love me if I was a worm BF: Yeah of course Me: (two hours later)
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Date idea: you pick where to eat, and I turn every suggestion down
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Well he liked my Instagram story, so he's gonna propose like any day now
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date idea: we talk for 2 weeks then I ghost you
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Why does doing nothing always feel like doing the most?
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Why does manicure insurance not exist?
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The worst part about having a real job is not getting a spring break
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 If my day doesn’t look like this I don’t want it
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2022 already feels like the shitty ex I’m about to take back for the third time
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My toxic trait is that I’m swiping through Bumble hoping I match with West Elm Caleb just to feel included #WestElmCaleb
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Welcome to the month that never ends
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