porous/freak
Salty Spitoon
Joined September 2026
- Tweets770
- Following190
- Followers470
- Likes4.9K
HowlingSponge retweeted
Volunteered at a soup kitchen for my dating profile photo. I looked so sad, one of the bums I served asked if I was okay and gave me his coat. I'm wearing it in the picture. 14 matches. He's still out there, cold, and I feel bad. But not that bad. 14 matches.
HowlingSponge retweeted
Back in it with HR because my boss said it smells like ass in the break room and I said "better than upnigga right?"
HowlingSponge retweeted
The look your friend's newly divorced mom gives you before spitting in her hand and giving you an enthusiastic hj at Thanksgiving just prior to throwing up in the stuffing and saying, "shhh they'll never know".
HowlingSponge retweeted
Been driving the same car for over seven years and for some reason I just reached up to check if I had a sunroof
HowlingSponge retweeted
Cyberpunk 2077: All these updates and I still can't make a fat bald man with a micropenis. Turns out life does not imitate art.
HowlingSponge retweeted
If this was 1860 she'd for sure be in the house
This quoted post is unavailable.
HowlingSponge retweeted
Damn I wish someone would dress ME up as a woman and light MY ass up
Manuel Otto, the creator of a game called Stickrun dressed up as a woman, turned on Twitch livestream and set himself on fire today and is likely deceased. There is obviously video of this. I do not recommend seeking it out and I will not post stills. If you have more information on this story, please let me know.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
xitter.cf/StickRunGame/status/21…
HowlingSponge retweeted
My therapist asked me to draw my ideal partner. I sketched with the brushwork of a Renaissance muralist: no wants, no opinions, no face that could hold eye contact. She suggested a houseplant. I had tried one. It died of neglect, which segued nicely into my next point about women
HowlingSponge retweeted
Sauntering into the bedroom after taking the One Chip Challenge, my woman sees the tears streaming down my cheeks. I tell her they're happy tears because I love her so much before putting her pussy through the nine circles of Hell.
HowlingSponge retweeted
My wife and I have a shared calendar where we schedule our sex. I just walked in on her fucking our black neighbor. I said “oh sorry, is this room double-booked?”
