My boss just called me a queer and rejected my PTO request to stay home and play WoW Forever

After I got my burrito yeah..

Took a gamble on Hinge and set it to black broads only in an attempt to look for a Trinidadian housewife and struck out every single time cause they said I lacked izzat and looked like Murr from Impractical Jokers

A group of 3 urban youths came to my front door asking if they could rake my leaves for a bit of money for their school football fundraiser, with no issue I gave them pizza, an unregistered glock and a pound of the most mid weed ever and told them to keep family traditions alive

How your moms divorced friend looks at you during your high school graduation party after her 4th glass of chardonnay

"I don't know what I am doing here eheheh" Yeah nigga they know.

Sabrina Cottonpicker

"SHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEET"