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Middleage Monologues

@MiddleageM

I'm here for the funny... https://xitter.cf/t.co/Om6jqoitAf https://xitter.cf/t.co/2Qs1ZlDauC

 Smartassville CO
Joined April 2013
  • Tweets48K
  • Following7.7K
  • Followers6.8K
33Media
Photo by Middleage Monologues (@MiddleageM)Photo by Middleage Monologues (@MiddleageM)Photo by Middleage Monologues (@MiddleageM)Photo by Middleage Monologues (@MiddleageM)Photo by Middleage Monologues (@MiddleageM)Photo by Middleage Monologues (@MiddleageM)
Middleage Monologues retweeted
Moe (@macchiatonumb) profile picture
Moe@macchiatonumb25 May 2016
May your crushes come true
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Trudacious (@Trudacious) profile picture
Trudacious@Trudacious25 May 2016
Post-its from the lunatic fringe
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Trudacious (@Trudacious) profile picture
Trudacious@Trudacious25 May 2016
I dance to ignore and drink to forget jumping and pills are another story.
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Trudacious (@Trudacious) profile picture
Trudacious@Trudacious26 May 2016
"You be careful out there and know I always love ya!" Something my grandmother always said and I learned to understand.
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Susan W (@Maxine12333) profile picture
Susan W@Maxine1233325 May 2016
The mind is an amazing well.  Sometimes painful memories may pop up yet its the special moments of kindness received I love to revisit.
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
PuppetMaster (@PuppetMaster_PA) profile picture
PuppetMaster@PuppetMaster_PA25 May 2016
Focused...on you
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PuppetMaster (@PuppetMaster_PA) profile picture
PuppetMaster@PuppetMaster_PA25 May 2016
Living life is the experience that we all want.
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
PuppetMaster (@PuppetMaster_PA) profile picture
PuppetMaster@PuppetMaster_PA25 May 2016
Simple Minds Not the 80s music group, more the people that I work for...
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) profile picture
Anna Nonymous@osoplain25 May 2016
I hate picking out clothes every day almost as much as I hate deciding what to cook for dinner
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) profile picture
Anna Nonymous@osoplain25 May 2016
I think I know why they call it a pencil skirt, that's all there is room left for when you scootch into one 😬
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Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) profile picture
Anna Nonymous@osoplain25 May 2016
Scrolling some of your likes is a lot more entertaining than your TLs
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Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) profile picture
Anna Nonymous@osoplain25 May 2016
I'm paying back all those coworkers that warm up fish in the microwave with my delicious stinky cabbage today!
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) profile picture
Anna Nonymous@osoplain25 May 2016
People ought to offer aspirin when they need to talk their thoughts out audibly to understand themselves 🤕
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
Wait a minute... I thought I blocked you.
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Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
Former The Biggest Loser contestant suing show cuz she's gained the weight back..Apparently her eating frosting out of a tub is their fault.
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
Stop putting boogars on your brother! Is something I had to say this morning.
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Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
When all else fails, use Velcro.
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Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
It's birth control and not having a tv that prevents pregnancies I know this now.
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Middleage Monologues retweeted
Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
Me: Kidneys go for a pretty good price on the black market, you don't really need both right? Husband:....
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Linda (@turtledumplin) profile picture
Linda
@turtledumplin25 May 2016
I am convinced that Thalia is from an alien planet where they never age.
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