Twitter, in one tweet and four replies.

What Carmen Electra looks like now will shock you.

I'm just going to go ahead and believe that the owner of this company is called Wayne Bruce.

This is the future that liberals want.

Ed Sheeran's Castle On The Hill sounds like Prince Charles narrating his own breakdown.

When you've had enough of being a hard-bitten crime fighting duo and just want a steady income

Bunch of dicks @MatCro @thepunningman @0point5twins @FrenulumBreve @TeaAndCopy @joejwest @ojedge

Even the Queen's got her own recipe book now.

[murder investigation] DETECTIVE: We have some leads CHIEF: Have we anything concrete to go on? ME: [gestures proudly] I have something

Well injecting heroin won't help their numbers...

DEER 1: 98…97… DEER 2: What are u doing? D1: Hide & seek with Big Kev D2: Again? He's rubbish D1: I know, right?

ME: Why are u called Christ the Redeemer? HIM: I use lots of coupons at the store M: How many? H: Like this many

COP: I'll need your age please, ma'am DRIVER: I'm 35 COP: Oh really? Just how 35 are you? DRIVER:

Here are some tweets: xitter.cf/MatCro/timelines/71734… Reply with 1 or 2 The best will get this award I recently received

Some sad news I didn't mention at the time and some happy news I'm mentioning now. 🐶🐶

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Plastic beer can holders can have a devastating effect on wildlife if not disposed of correctly.