Writer of many things, some of them funny. @tnyshouts, @mcsweeneys, @nytimes, @parentsmagazine and more. Views are my own.
Washington, DC
Joined August 2008
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I entered the Merrily We Roll Along Lottery for $39 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: todaytix.com/nyc/shows/27417…
Sarah Schmelling retweeted
This Mother’s Day, in lieu of brunch (overpriced and meat-heavy, in her opinion), you’re invited to this one-day symposium all about Mom. All attendees will receive wide-ranging, embarrassing anecdotes out of nowhere. nyer.cm/rR6kLZp
Best ever security question, eye doc portal. 10 yrs old. Peaches Records, Oak Park, IL. Allowance $. Played it over and over reading along w the lyrics. Rocked my world. @Kathy_Valentine @realginaschock
It is my (cusp, solstice) birthday and I've never felt so seen.
Can’t wait!
Big congratulations to the June residents @StNells! We will be welcoming @sschmelling (Sarah Schmelling) , @sarahkaneissexy (Catherine Weingarten), @MeghanPleticha, and #MarySette to Williamsport this summer! Yaaaay!
Sarah Schmelling retweeted
We're back w/ #MagicMonday, highlighting our favorite recent humor pieces from the web! This week, we're featuring work from @sschmelling @mcsweeneys @johnmoe @Sassers_ @The_Belladonnas @AmyStrommer @FrazzledHumor @molly_kessler @HumorDarling. Read below! link.medium.com/geDZ0j9nTmb
Thanks so much @The_Belladonnas!
This piece by @sschmelling in @mcsweeneys was WOWOW, APLUS, LMFAO, GREAT
Please, World, In A Time Of Infinite Darkness, Just Let Us Have Wordle
mcsweeneys.net/articles/plea…
Happy to share my Wordle obsession (and other things) on @mcsweeneys today!
"Wordle is simple, sweet, and true. Our first time, we got 'BANAL' in four tries. It made us forget, for three minutes, that the world is a filthy cesspit filled with rapidly spawning gremlins."
mcsweeneys.net/articles/plea…
Sometimes, I just look out the window and wonder what my couch we ordered in April is doing right now.
Sarah Schmelling retweeted
The game is great, but only in small doses. The third time I got to Call from the School Nurse Though I Know She Also Has Steve’s Number, I got dizzy and had to stop. @sschmelling newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh…
Sarah Schmelling retweeted
“Why is Mom the only one who knows how the thermostat works? Or what the next-door neighbors’ names are?” nyer.cm/Cunkt4g
Excited to be in Daily Shouts, and share the Mom experience (a challenging but 5-star game). Customer Reviews of Mom: The V.R. Experience newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh… via @NewYorker
Even now, after all this time, if I want to get instantly irate, I think about how a movie called "Bad Moms" was almost entirely written, directed, and produced by men.
Go funny ladies! Happy to support this project by New Yorker humorist @EmilyFlake - I just backed St. Nell's Humor Writing Residency for Ladies on @Kickstarter kickstarter.com/projects/stn…
Thanks so much for including me. You guys are awesome. ❤️
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Sarah Schmelling retweeted
Hey, teachers, librarians, educators & parents! I need to find these 10 middle-grade books a new home so it’s #Giveaway time!
RT & Follow by Saturday, 7/18 to enter for a chance to add these great books 📚📚 to your classroom/personal library! #KidsNeedBooks #FunkSummerGiveaways
Sarah Schmelling retweeted
It's been 10 years since the first Minifigure Series! RT this for a chance to win a Complete Box (60 Bags) of our upcoming Series 20 Minifigures! One winner each round, stay tuned. #MinifigureMadness
RULES: bit.ly/39dxMJz
xitter.cf/i/events/1239931561518…
When your dad paints a door in chalkboard paint and it’s finally ready and your big brother tells you, “Don’t write anything STUPID.” instagram.com/p/B-KH9YahXpQ/…