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"Create a romantic ambiance with songs like “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “Yankee Doodle Dandy”..." -Mike Todasco #satire #humor medium.com/greener-pastures-…

"Try Aromatherapy: Walk around the house with an atomizer full of patchouli oil and spray it on people." @JustinCourter #satire #humor medium.com/greener-pastures-…

"There’s no time to strap on the contrived personality you use in public to disguise your authentically twitchy self." @JamzKlein #satire #humor medium.com/greener-pastures-…

"1. Take a glass. Or a cup, mug, thermos, vase, bucket, ancient wine goblet, or Viking drinking horn. Whatever it is, make sure it’s transparent. If not, you’ll need special skills to see through it." - Andreea Tanase #satire #humor medium.com/greener-pastures-…

"In counties where Democrats are in control, the voter rolls include bread rolls and tootsie rolls!" -Gunnar Birgisson #satire #humor medium.com/greener-pastures-…

"A Political Identity Reveal Party is the perfect way to involve your friends and family in your political indecision–nothing brings people together quite like charged political discussions during election season." @lessismorefun @AlexisTaiWrites #Satire medium.com/greener-pastures-…

"For years, we have longed to return to the values and social inequalities of the mid twentieth century, when America was the only country with nuclear weapons, and women couldn’t have credit cards." @15thcgossipgirl #Satire #humor medium.com/greener-pastures-…

Shakespeare Characters Post on Facebook Marketplace by @yuqih medium.com/greener-pastures-…

How Could Something Like This Happen in a Country Where Something Like This Happens Every Day? by @meg_it_happen medium.com/greener-pastures-…

The End of the Platform-Formerly-Known-as-Twitter: Found Extracts from a Survivor’s Diary by @15thcgossipgirl medium.com/greener-pastures-…

I Am a Local Politician and I Need to Ask You For Money. Again. by Emily Cerrito medium.com/greener-pastures-…

A Letter From Head of PR to CEO of Dawn Dish Soap by Brian Buseck medium.com/greener-pastures-…

Refuting Recent Claims Made Against Origami Furniture by Joe Sanders medium.com/greener-pastures-…

Refuting Recent Claims Made Against Origami Furniture by Joe Sanders medium.com/greener-pastures-…

Our Household’s Weekly Banana Standoff — Not a Penis Story by @KristineLaco medium.com/greener-pastures-…

Your Teenager’s Customer Help Line by James Klein medium.com/greener-pastures-…

Things I Don't Want To Hear From My Hiking Group by @gail_gauthier medium.com/greener-pastures-…