A message to @chrisrock from Irene from Real World Seattle. It gets better. #Oscars #theslap #slap

Welcome to the world Kaylani Sky. #babygirl #love

How it started / How it’s going

Her. “Mom, just one song before bed.” Me, “One song.” Her, “Alexa, play Shake Your Money Maker.”

Thanks! I would have responded sooner but I am covered in beads. Just covered.

This is love 💗! Me, “I need some things from The Container Store but it’s snowing. Him, “I’ll go.” SWOON

So @seankeane just did the most hilarious tweet showing allllllll the snowman ⛄️ his mom has collected over the years - read the whole thread 🤣😂

Wow! My immunodeficiency disease CVID (an unfortunate acronym in the time of COVID) is making front page news on @CNN. PS 💕Donate blood & plasma because people like me with CVID need regular🩸infusions! thanks @jaketapper cc @emilyvgordon cnn.com/2021/01/31/health/co…

Today I made a mac & cheese 🧇 WAFFLE Recipe: 1. Make a box of mac & cheese 2. Put in waffle maker (sprinkle a little bit of shredded cheese on top) To anyone who hasn’t tried this - you’re very very very welcome.

“Santa must not have been wearing his glasses, because the picture I made him had TWO swings.” 😳

Nothing is better than @ABCBeerCo and @zmack

Love this article about @GregtheGrouch If you don’t know his work check it out. He’s such a great human/artist/comedian and apparently he sews! voyagela.com/interview/meet-…

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Lifetime appointments should be reserved for one job only : parenting.

Here’s one way to reduce plastic. Get rid of the rake! It’s the least used toy in toy history. #nomorerakes #plasticfree #stopmakingrakes

Me “The shoe has hit the fan.” My friend, “No. That’s not a thing.” Filed under : expressions I’ve been saying wrong for years.