how litter do you know?
Medford, MA
Joined July 2012
- Tweets51.5K
- Following319
- Followers12.8K
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I wonder in the way back times people were like “hell no I’m not gonna press BUTTONS to make a telephone call I’m gonna poke and spin the number wheel like my pappy taught me and GOD intended”
mustard clown retweeted
Just shut down the whole karaoke bar with my version of the Skyrizi song. People with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis were coming up to me with tears in their eyes wanting to shake my hand. The bartender added me on insta and let me hit her Skyrizi pen.
mustard clown retweeted
My uncle performed the first Minion autopsy out near Marietta. Year was ‘89. Thick, thick skin, like a boar’s. Downstairs was all cloaca. Kevin still visits the grave
mustard clown retweeted
what’s a good gas station pill to try for someone just getting into gas station pills
mustard clown retweeted
just stomped on the geico gecko and the sound it made was crazy. like wet fireworks
mustard clown retweeted
Big Boi: To’ up. from the flo’ up, while I growed up, swimmin in go-re-gous Flo-ri-da women but this pimp reside in Georgia. Coroner. Report I hope insurance shored up. Might have your rates turned up before them boys turn the corna.
Andre 3000: She trapped in my cadmium palace
mustard clown retweeted
me: [peeling a banana] may i take ur jacket lol
coworker also in the break room: do you think other people can't hear you
mustard clown retweeted
(Ancient Chinese rap battle)
Eastern wind: my wife is very chaste and humble, ur wife can’t carry wood or she stumble
River Fury: Ur wife goes to the heavenly rat banquet in a dress made of cheese. And u ask why shes home naked full of fleas
(abacus guy moves one to the left)
mustard clown retweeted
every mushroom foraging guidebook: This is Woodland Pot Roast, a tasty little mushroom that adds a delightful flavour to soups and stews. Note that it is often mistaken for Satan’s Fistula, a mushroom that erases the last 9 generations of your family from God’s ledgers.
I’m thinking about getting a neck tattoo that says “end rascism”. Time to put people’s judgments on neck tattoos to the test
Why do pam and all the others in the progressive insurance ads wear aprons? Feels like I shoulda noticed that sooner but i just did and it bothers me. There’s no fucken progressive insurance restaurant. What the shit.