A reporter asked Jimi Hendrix what it was like having the greatest Twitter account in the world. Jimi said “I don’t know, you should ask Jerry Lock.”
Deep South, so very deep
Joined November 2012
- Tweets76.3K
- Following7.6K
- Followers7.7K
- Likes101K
Pinned Tweet
The doctor said working puzzles would keep Grandma's mind sharp. She's been in the corn maze going on four days, so that remains to be seen.
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
When I watch those sped up bushcraft reels of guys building wilderness shelters I like to pretend cocaine is making them move that fast.
Any woman who wears a slutty nurse costume to a Halloween party should at least know how to do CPR and basic first aid, because when something bad happens, we’re looking to you.
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
Hot male nurse said I have "great veins" so I'm thinking a June ceremony
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a cowbell at st 7:00 am youth hockey game is unnecessary.
Most retailers have shelf diagrams of how they arrange merchandise in stores. Dollar General looks at photos of tornado debris and says just gimme that.
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
A haunted house, but it’s full of everyone you have blocked.
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
All public urination cases must be decided by a jury of your “peers.”
I’m so tired of traffic. I hope Republicans win the elections so Trump will give us those flying cars like he promised.
If you drive to my neighborhood, roll down your window, and let a fly out, you’re going to have big trouble, Mister, with me. Take your insects back where they belong.
I hope if I ever meet up with my younger A-I self, he’ll smile and give me a hug like all the celebrities do.
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
A woman on the bus opened her purse and there was just a fork and a lemon inside
Finally, someone with a plan
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
All Your Eggs in One Basket would be a lovely name for an only child
Jerry Lock, pallbearer for hire retweeted
Parrot writing up his resume, making sure it says that he's bilingual in Pirate and Landlubber.
