Jared Patch (@jaredpatch) header
Jared Patch (@jaredpatch) profile picture

guy with a beard, another baby, and a rum

Joined March 2009
Photo by Jared Patch (@jaredpatch)Photo by Jared Patch (@jaredpatch)Photo by Jared Patch (@jaredpatch)Photo by Jared Patch (@jaredpatch)Photo by Jared Patch (@jaredpatch)
Elections should be over a 3 day holiday weekend. You should be registered when you get any state issued ID. The voting age should be 16. Number of polling places should be based on population & ease of access. Gerrymandering should be illegal & the electoral college should be 🚽
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Jared Patch retweeted
Thought he’d just focus on Kavanaugh. Instead he gave best response on rape culture I’ve ever heard from a man! I aspire to be this reflective. Damn! #CancelKavanaugh #StopKanavaugh
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Our son turns five this week, five! It’s crazy that he’s been in our life almost as long as I was in undergrad...
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Pope Your Enthusiasm
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Hey @karipatches you were right to recommend me to come to Interview Show tonight, because @eveewing is a badass. Really enjoying it!
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Game over, man. Game over. RIP Paxton. Please god, don't take Pullman too. We need President Whitman now more than ever.
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And when a fire truck drove by they honked & waved at an excited Benny. This is the America I know & love. This is what we're fighting for.
And on the way home we pass a Latvian cultural center, a polish catholic center, a Korean church and a Bulgarian art shop.
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Earlier we walked to the market as a family and bought strawberries and cold meds while chatting with the Latino teenage checkout girl.
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While my son plays in the toy kitchen and tells me about his Muslim girlfriend from swim lessons at the park next to our house.
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We're about to have Moroccan takeout for a dinner play date with friends tonight. I'm currently playing w/a taco truck toy w/my daughter.
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Time to double the ACLU monthly donation. This isn't us, this isn't what we're about as a nation, as a society. Stop the #MuslimBan
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Unlike certain, um, individuals, @ArchesNPS's sandstone formations are *naturally* orange due to the presence of hematite. #science #geology
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Of course our Internet-Troll-in-Chief's first press brief was just to discuss his insecurity in his size inadequacy. #crowd #sizematters
I'm so #honered you're #notmypresident you dumb orange 🍊 clown 🤡
Also, thanks to our Conman in Chief I now have a legitimate reason to go drink.
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Ok. Just take the motorcade right to the impeachment proceedings.
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My son calls his grandma "Maga" so can we please #makeMAGAaboutGmaAgain #MMAGAAGA
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Look on the bright side. Now that he's made us the Nazi U.S we at least can call him PENUS...