“There were no fights. We just drifted apart. But we are still a team and will do everything for our girls!” This is actually the most harmful kind of #divorce. The kids whose parents split when there’s no fighting, no screaming, no wall punching, just “we want a new chapter,” suffer psychologically. When divorce follows a high-conflict marriage, at least the children understand why the marriage ended, though those children still suffer. But these kids will search for a reason why they’ve lost the house they grew up in, the home where they shared the love of their mother and father. They will probably ensure a revolving door of new partners or spouses, half siblings or stepsiblings, that will pepper the remainder of their lives. It's a form of gaslighting to tell kids, “Your mother and I are still a team! We will do everything for you!” Because parents cannot be on the same team when they're not in the same home. The girls have lost the thing they need most: the home where they receive their mother’s love, their father’s love, and stability daily. And their parents have already proved that “we will do everything for you” has a limit. They were willing to end their children’s shared home, but unwilling to do the work required to restore the spark, warmth, and friendship in their marriage. Those girls will have to find a reason for the loss and instability they’re now experiencing. And the reason won’t be their parents, who assure them that everything’s fine. In a “no-fault” divorce, the children will usually fault themselves: “It must have been me. I’m the reason. I’m at fault.”