@bnacker

(he/him) Now a writer AND an author! Read “Stories to Keep You Alive Despite Vampires.” Hear Thrilling Adventure Hour and Cut and Run. No puns. Show businessman

 Los Feliz, LA, CA
bit.ly/despitevampires
Joined November 2007
  • Tweets65.1K
  • Following2.1K
  • Followers14.5K
2.9KMedia
Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker1 Jul 2024
Boy I'd hate to live in America right now...
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker19 Mar 2014
Remember where you were when Tim Burton invented stripes?
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We practiced with caskets that were stored outside our barracks building. To simulate the weight of honored remains, we’d toss several full sandbags into the belly of the casket and then, for hours, we’d go through our exact movements. Over and over and over. (thread)
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Oh my god, he admit it!
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never reposted anything so fast
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Harris: we need to come together as a country Trump: the Mexicans want asylum, they're breaking into our mental hospitals RFK Jr: in October of 1998 I left a jar of human eyes in the fiction section of a Borders bookstore in Philadelphia
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker9 Aug 2016
"Why do I want to be President? Watch me make a muscle. Any more dumb questions?" -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker9 Aug 2016
"People say they'd go back in time and kill a Hitler Baby. That's too easy. I'd kill a Michael Keaton baby. He bugs me." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"If I were any character in any movie, I'd be the comet in Armageddon, and believe me, Bruce Willis couldn't stop me." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"I remember Rubick's cubes. Not impressed. So what? Some colors on a box? When I was 11, I was six feet tall." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"I could be a bird if I wanted. Chirp chirp! Hear that? Be honest. Maybe I'll run for bird and let me tell you, I'd win." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"Ghostbusters 2 is the only Ghostbusters worth talking about. That's a fact. Get used to it." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"I've won every game of Connect Four I've ever played and what is business besides a big game of 'Four?" -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"My dick is the caviar of dicks." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"Count Chocula? Now HE deserves a purple heart. Good friend of mine. I helped him move." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"Not a lot of people know this but Frankenstein was actually the monster's name." -Trump, probably
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Ben Acker retweeted
Ben Acker@bnacker3 Aug 2016
"Nice people? Kind ones? Moms? Dads? Nurses? The worst. Assholes. You know it. And watch, they're gonna complain. Shut up" -Trump, probably
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I'm all for Kamala Harris being a Madam President but Doug should still be called Doug. "Please welcome The President of the United States and Doug" it'll be awesome
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why didn’t voldemort just run harry potter over with a car
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