marie

I hope they treat Punxsutawney Phil with loving care and respect all year long

Has anyone ever heard Tiny Dancer by Elton John and not thought of Trump saying “Wow I didn’t know that you’re telling me that for the first time”? If so I’m envious

Boys love to open the microwave when it’s still going instead of pressing stop

I made adorable valentines day cupcakes to bring to work

Chinese balloon

God nothing more difficult than choosing which Kleenex box design to get

I’m freezing cold so I bought a delicious also frozen thing to drink way too fast and get a brain freeze

I like the word conduit and I like the word jettison

Imagine typing out favourite but with no u… and being happy about it

As a child who had never seen The Pelican Brief, or listened when my dad talked about it (classic dad), I actually thought it was about a pelican’s underwear

Why did we stop calling it luncheon? Just lunch? Are you joking. It’s luncheon and that’s final

There are only 10 British actors and they’re all in every British tv show or movie

guys I only tweeted three times in 2020 that’s truly fucked up. that’s at least 35 times less than my dog took a shit on my floor

I used to think it was the Macy Gray’s Parade because of the parade in Spiderman where Macy Gray performs. I’ve never claimed to be smart

Today I made risotto, watched coronation street, ate lemon loaf, watched coronation street

Just look at his legs damnit

My favourite sound is sideshow bob getting hit in the face by rakes