Funny how people use cold weather to deny global warming, then get into their RVs where the refrigerator uses a flame to cool itself just the same way...

Since conservatives are by definition in favor of conservation principles, I propose that under the Conservation of Racism principle we take all the extra confederate statues, melt 'em down, and build the border wall out of that.

So we skip the daily security briefings because they're "boring", but somehow we know enough about Russia to assert a universal negative…

say "The new Environmental Pro{$_}tion Agency" for <tec mo duc voca stra crastina stitu>.pick(3)

Alas, you aren't a true functional programmer after you start thinking that way either, since users aren't idempotent. xitter.cf/quietfanatic/status/80…

"Making America Great Again" apparently means going back to A: the 1950s. B: the 1850s. C: the 1750s. D: the 550s.

Yeah, shame on all those women and slaves! xitter.cf/realDonaldTrump/status…

Hmm, I wonder how many more years till sea-level rise does a Sandy on the Whitehouse...

First we postulate, without loss of generality, a spherical bunny... xitter.cf/MagicRealismBot/status…

I predict virtual reality will be really popular this year, given how actual reality is shaping up.

We have the circuses, now where's the bread?

Thanks for asking the perfect questions! xitter.cf/charlottejee/status/79…

I can't see how Trump will make America great again, so obviously in that story I would never have seen the emperor's new clothes either...

"Aides Convicted in Bridgegate Scandal" — but the -gate suffix already means "scandal". So it's like Snohomish River, or Durwent Water.