Sean Alan (@SeanAlann) profile picture

Sean Alan

@SeanAlann
 Maryland
Joined December 2009
  • Tweets5.9K
  • Following440
  • Followers115
22Media
Photo by Sean Alan (@SeanAlann)Photo by Sean Alan (@SeanAlann)Photo by Sean Alan (@SeanAlann)Photo by Sean Alan (@SeanAlann)Photo by Sean Alan (@SeanAlann)
Sean Alan retweeted
huntigula (@huntigula) profile picture
huntigula@huntigula15 Feb 2017
MACGYVER'S WIFE: it's too late for that. Just stop MACGYVER: [sobbing uncontrollably trying to fix their marriage w/ string & a paper clip]
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someone who once loved you and you blew it will think of you briefly as they spend tonight with somebody wrong for them happy valentines day
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Sean Alan retweeted
chuuch (@ch000ch) profile picture
chuuch@ch000ch15 Dec 2016
(taps mic) attention shoppers, life is meaningless
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Sean Alan retweeted
Mr. Peanut (@MrPeanut) profile picture
Mr. Peanut
@MrPeanut6 Nov 2016
Warm nuts will make for warmer holidays thanks to my #PlantersSnackSweaters. Coming soon!
Image from Mr. Peanut (@MrPeanut)
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[cop plays grainy black and white video of me trying to dribble a baked potato like a basketball] i wanna talk to my lawyer
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My strange addiction? Success
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Pull up to the bbq like
Image from Pauly Casillas (@PaulyCasillas)
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[hands hot dog vendor my credit card] leave it open
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Sean Alan retweeted
Jake (@jakelikesnaps) profile picture
Jake
@jakelikesnaps29 Jun 2016
COWORKER: rough morning? [puts coffee granules in my mouth and pours boiling hot water directly into my mouth]
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We are very excited to announce that our chapter just won the 2016 Thomas Gehring Award for Chapter Excellence!
Image from Chi Phi Eta Theta (@ChiPhi_UMD)
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Sean Alan retweeted
Pitbull (@pitbull) profile picture
Pitbull
@pitbull20 Jun 2016
Stay calm and cool even when it's hot hot hot #MondayMotivation #Summer
Image from Pitbull (@pitbull)
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Seatbelts are for pussies. God is for cowards. Death is forever. Drugs are for numbing yourself to the horror of eternity Arbys is for lunch
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Sean Alan retweeted
The Onion (@TheOnion) profile picture
The Onion
@TheOnion3 Jun 2016
Man Uses Weekend To Make Totally Different Mistakes Than He Did During Workweek onion.com/1TMcHrw
Image from The Onion (@TheOnion)
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Sean Alan retweeted
Jonno Turner (@jonnot) profile picture
Jonno Turner@jonnot25 May 2016
I literally love it that CNN didn't cut the reply to this @realDonaldTrump tweet from the screenshot
Image from Jonno Turner (@jonnot)
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You're all awful people
Image from Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86)
Image from Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86)
Image from Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86)
Image from Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86)
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Sean Alan retweeted
The Onion (@TheOnion) profile picture
The Onion
@TheOnion24 May 2016
Man Does What He Convinced Himself He Loves For A Living onion.com/1NKj5me
Image from The Onion (@TheOnion)
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Sean Alan retweeted
You Slut! (@YouSlut) profile picture
You Slut!@YouSlut11 May 2016
We can send a few copies of needed...... fb.me/4SPuFI9o1
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My son, he's very sick
Image from Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86)
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Sean Alan retweeted
Jay (@NotFunnyJ) profile picture
Jay@NotFunnyJ5 Apr 2016
It's official, we need to regulate the Jordan cry face meme.
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I respect doctors the smoke cigarettes because they themselves want to die but they still focus on making other people better every day
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