Wanna race? Fast car, fast reflexes, fast middle finger. Pretty much suck at everything else. https://xitter.cf/t.co/w7J9S3i4w5
I-95 fast lane
Joined April 2014
- Tweets17.5K
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BeachLover retweeted
Hmm. I haven’t talked to her for two years. Lemme just text and ask her what she’s wearing.
- Men
BeachLover retweeted
HR: We’ve noticed a substantial amount of office supplies missing recently.
Me *wearing a 3-piece suit made of Post-It notes*: That’s odd
BeachLover retweeted
All I'm saying is bad orgasm faces are one of the reasons premarital sex is important.
BeachLover retweeted
"Hi, my name is Chris & I'll be your Twitter tour guide for the evening. On the left are the lunatics... Haha, kidding, they're everywhere."
