please be nice, it’s literally my first day on here.

Chicago, IL
Joined April 2010
There are still people who know me only as the visibly intoxicated bartender at the Lynnwood Applebees and I think that’s beautiful
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Came back to this website exclusively to laugh at this
Somewhere last night in New York City, a single mother and her children slept at a homeless shelter because you, assemblyman @ZohranKMamdani are occupying her rent controlled apartment. You grew up rich and married an even wealthier woman. You’ve had weddings on 3 continents. You own property in LGTBQIA+ murderous Uganda. You make $142,000 a year plus stipends, and your wife works too, meaning you together likely make well over $200,000. No matter which way you cut it: Zohran Mamdani is a rich person. You are actually very rich. Yet you and your wife pay $2,300 a month, as you have bragged, for a nice apartment in Astoria. That should be housing for someone who needs it. We are in the middle of a historic affordability crisis. Millions of low income New Yorkers need this apartment and an apartment like it. Yet your apartment remains rented to rich people who don’t need it. Today, I am calling on you to move out immediately and give your affordable housing back to an unhoused family who need it. Leaders must show moral clarity. Time to move out.
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I’ve only been over there for a day but so far it’s mostly nice people, sports, and sexy animals (both real and cartoon)
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One thing I don’t miss about my daughter being in elementary school is the moms confiding in me that their sad-sack husbands want to be my friend.
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“Kamala will give criminal illegal aliens taxpayer funded transgender surgeries” is something I just heard in an ad during a ballgame. This country is so depressingly stupid man.
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I would pay so much money to hear @AngieMentink talk more about the Colorado Silver Bullets
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The “IT IS BOTH!!!!” commercial comes in at the very top of my list of things I won’t miss about the 2024 MLB season
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I'm no big city ethics professor but this reads like some classic misinformation coming at you from a guy who shadow bans anyone he disagrees with and whose tweets I HAVE to have in my feed
He wants to take away your right to free speech in America
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& then there was the time when @ARizzo44 returned to wrigley for the first time since leaving chicago and signed my son iggy’s baseball. i cried! we love you, rizzo. 😭❤️
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when bart simpson puts the marshmallow into his cocoa and it absorbs all the cocoa and he cuts it into slices
if you could eat one food from any animated movie, what would it be? mine is the eggs from Shrek
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I do not post political stuff anymore, but as a former football player, I have to speak out. All coaches are coach. Coordinators are coach. Position coaches are coach. I didn't call the guy who taught me how to pass block "Assistant Coach Cooke."
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Replying to @MaryNumair
"There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is taken off the do-not-hire and trespass lists at Applebees for the last time"
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In 1999, the first Chipotle in Minnesota opened and I went with the UofM Quiz Bowl team and every member of the team (except for me, a Californian) requested mild salsa except for one girl, who when asked which salsa she wanted said "No gravy, please."
This isn’t cute. Walz is being used as a clown to mock white people. If Walz doesn’t like spicy food that’s fine, but it has nothing to do with being a white guy.
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The last few days have made me realize how much I miss Minnesota. I was a 10 min drive to MOA! I miss Kowalskis (don’t come for me). And the rumors are true, there are just so many lakes everywhere!
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No-brainer fundraiser idea right here 🍖 🎟️
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hello people who are being introduced to minneapolis on a national scale: it didn’t burn to the ground and you don’t want to fuck the mayor. otherwise, welcome.
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Mary N. retweeted
wonder if the white house chef knows how to make a jucy lucy haha
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