@JasonNotEvil

Screenwriter and fart joke enthusiast Popular tweets: https://xitter.cf/t.co/cVlfPJFRBK

 California
xitter.cf/search?q=from%3Ajasonnotevil%20exclude%3Areplies%20
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets107K
  • Following3.5K
  • Followers15.5K
6.5KMedia
This signals the official end of Toyotathon
Russ McSpadden@PeccaryNotPig30 Dec 2023
Just a coyote howling from the rooftop of a car in Tucson, Ariz.
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🎵 You don’t wanna fuck with Santa Cause Santa will fucking kill you
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meghan
@deloisivete21 Nov 2024
me: *starts the washer* me, two minutes later: what's that noise
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Dan Carney
@DanManCarney16 Nov 2024
Jake Paul inspired me to wake up my dad and punch him in the face
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Uncle Duke@UncleDuke19696 Nov 2024
“Okay, climb in and let’s try this again.”
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JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory tour.
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Just filled water jugs from a pool so that we can flush the toilets with it. This is so nice because now I can save the La Croix for washing my pits with.
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My mom said you weren’t allowed to fact check me
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me: [on deathbed, voice weak and trembling] do you want to hear a joke? hospice nurse: no me: ok
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jon drake@DrakeGatsby28 Sep 2024
Mmmm hotel breakfast. Love to wake up at 545 AM to wait in line for the worst omelette I’ve ever had
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Batty@BattyMclain30 Sep 2024
Saw this like 8 hours ago and my ocd is still riled up
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cella@cellapaz30 Sep 2024
skipping every song that reminds me of him -me, listing to the playlist i made for him
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Him: How did he die? Me: He was attacked by a group of crows. Him: A murder? Me: Well, he’s clearly not still alive, Kevin.
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the only thing that’ll make me religious is the golden girls coming back as the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
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sojujinbutsu@EdgarPoop121 Sep 2024
Dressing up like it’s coachella and dropping acid at the county fair
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Billy Club@BillyFuckinClub21 Sep 2024
One of the earliest signs of road rage is me getting into a vehicle
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I get serious human trafficker vibes from Carmen Sandiego
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sojujinbutsu@EdgarPoop121 Sep 2024
Are guys even funny anymore
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"it's just like riding a bicycle" Oh cool the one vehicle I've crashed the most
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Jason Not Evil@JasonNotEvil3 Aug 2022
Stretching? you mean exercise BEFORE I exercise?
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