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Inside a truck
Joined September 2008
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Tessa Thompson in Annihilation:
Joe Biden becomes the first sitting US President to visit the Amazon Rainforest.
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
in my SNL audition i would immediately do a t mobile ad so they know im ready
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
*this* is how you text someone who just had a baby
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Carly on the set of iCarly:
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
As I've said before, genuinely love that Shaq is like Krusty the Clown
If I missed your call, I’m probably in a cabin sitting by a warm fire, enjoying a giant box of pizza. why? because it’s Shaq-a-Roni season @PapaJohns
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
they'll be calling the hogs in corvallis if dabo swinney and his boys can survive tonight's trap game down in the swamp
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Watterson did the perfect capper for Calvin and Hobbes. Simple and sweet, it's beautiful
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you ☝️. Then do a big spin attack
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Roseanne demonstrates the opposite of gun safety during an event she did for the Minnesota Trump campaign
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
when I invent a pocket-sized jelly roll that won’t ruin denim
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Shaq: say goodbye to huge wireless bills with T-Mobile’s $45 monthly plan Casey Anthony: and with T-Mobile’s best-in-class 5G coverage, you’ll stay connected wherever you go Shaq: that’s right, Casey Anthony
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
“@realDonaldTrump: I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.”
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
there have been a lot of one season cast members, but few have had a sketch this good get on
Reciting this brilliant sketch from memory in honor of Chloe Troast 🫡 Like fellow one-season SNL star Jenny Slate, history will look kindly upon her!
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Do something that scares you every day. If you do that, then each day, little by little, you will be scared. Every day will be scary, and your life will be very scary. 💫
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Guess I was ahead of my time (2018)
weddings should have a worst man
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Have you ever had an apple cider donut?
Nikolaj🇺🇦🇵🇸
@nikicaga31 Aug 2024
Does America even have any food worthy of this reaction
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Stephen Curry
@StephenCurry3031 Mar 2010
Really liked Hot Tub Time Machine...crazy storyline but you'll def laugh...watching a little family guy now. Just comedy 24/7
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
My special "The Crowd Work Tour" was on Netflix in 2015.
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Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Batman Begin
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