Now that my blue check is gone i can go back to freely posting ignorant tweets without being confused with someone who’d pay for twitter blue

*Pauses vacuuming the bottom of the ocean’s food chain* why are the apex predators acting so weird? Huh. Anyway *bulldozes coral reef*

Remembering @LegitTayUpdates

Gentlemen, let us settle our disagreement respectfully through the time-honored institution of sending our nation's teenagers to slaughter your nation's women and children

Someone fraudulently named "dalia" is getting canceled on bluesky & i don't know the context but as the only true dalia i'm joining the side that doesn't besmirch the glorious name of dalia with falsehoods & transgressions

It’s good to know that the people who used to reply to joke tweets with fact checks on here have found their people here at whatever this is

If you want to know if 2 people who have the same first name are 2 different people, you can take a lil look at their last names & faces & if those aren’t the same you’ve got 2 people, let me know if you get stuck

Disgusted every time i open this app & see paragraphs

I AM NOT A RAPPER & I NEVER WAS

I AM NOT A RAPPER & I WILL NOT BE DROPPING A MIXTAPE

Are you still on twitter

Are movie screeners still a thing

This year i started finding cats kinda cute, is this what people mean by “biological clock”

Venmo me and you’ll get crypto

Saw a female comedian performing in a pants suit, HOWEVER DO YOU DO, MOST SOPHISTICATED FOREIGN SECRETARY OF DICK JOKE NATION, PLEASE REST YOUR LAPELS BETWEEN THE ANTIQUE STAINS IN THE GREEN ROOM TIL IT’S TIME TO DO A PORTION OF OR EVEN THE ENTIRETY OF 1 HOUR OF WORK FOR THE DAY

If joe biden was alive today he would praise the way the british prime minister makes the right wish they’d come up with his ideas

MARIO’S PICROSS IS ON SWITCH. IT FAILED IN NORTH AMERICA & STOPPED BEING DISTRIBUTED SO ITS SEQUELS INCLUDING MARIO’S SUPER PICROSS, ALSO ON SWITCH, WERE ONLY RELEASED IN JAPAN. FURIOUS I DIDN’T HAVE THESE AS A KID BUT WON’T LET MY BONES BEING DUST STOP ME FROM PICROSSING NOW

is not accurect

Was about to become a nazi but was incentivized not to after learning it could affect my financial performance