@ConnorColson

Security Consultant | tweets my own | UNC Law Alumni & 2x Tar Heel | Atlanta based | Talk to me about tech, security, privacy, & open source!

 Atlanta, GA
linkedin.com/in/connorjcolson/
Joined October 2019
  • Tweets12.3K
  • Following2.9K
  • Followers2.4K
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The hardest part of my job is being a juvenile lawyer at 5ft tall and most of my 14 year old clients are taller than me. Like good morning judge, Alyssa Leader on behalf of Braden and if you need he can lift me up closer to the podium.
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lyss, esq@am_yersFeb 12
Breaking news. The "Judge, they already confiscated all the drugs. The danger to the community has been taken care of," argument didn't go over as well as I would've liked it to
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Can’t believe I waited so long to hire full time employees. Was working until 1AM every night and the was effectively talking to myself all day. Not healthy if you’re trying to grow a firm (or live generally).
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I’m getting entire emails from clients drafted by AI. Random bolded words. Mid paragraph bulleted lists. Rationale included for every thought. Can’t even bother to take on the task of writing “Hi Matt.” We’re doomed.
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the fact they can promise you a sedan and then just randomly “upgrade” you to an suv when you show up to pick up the car is insane
Alan Cole
@AlanMCole3 Aug 2025
Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like “wait really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.”
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People who live in areas with brutal winters always overdo summer. Try to fit in as many activities as possible. You can feel the tension with them. Winter is always on their mind, even in the middle of July
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gabe
@allgarbled17 Jul 2025
Recently realized a former coworker, who was one of the most useless, borderline negative utility people I’ve worked with, is a LinkedIn influencer with like half a million followers
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Matt Popovich
@mpopv2 Jul 2025
The first time I went to one of these was absolutely wild. The developer was so shocked someone showed up in support that he literally started tearing up. The rest of the commenters directed their angry rants at me, like my betrayal of the community was the greater crime
Brad Hargreaves
@bhargreaves1 Jul 2025
every community meeting on housing I've attended
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Paola
@phenoatypical1 Jul 2025
wow I majorly fucked up by not addressing this immediately
Paola
@phenoatypical24 Aug 2024
a while ago I made the decision to go against dental advice and *not* remove my wisdom teeth. I am not experiencing significant pain but do not know whether to just continue pushing through or actually just address it?
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Zac Mabry
@ZacMabry30 Jun 2025
As someone without kids I hate to spoil this, but dad friends talk this way to avoid making you feel bad by saying “I don’t want to get $8 beers with you because there is a tiny human who will absolutely light up the second I walk through the door, so I’m going home”
rosey🌹@thechosenberg30 Jun 2025
The average Western man these days
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keep an eye out for me on good morning america tomorrow! 👀 📺
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Grip Skylark 💕✨
@talleyberrybaby19 Jun 2025
What’s the funniest thing you’ve gotten scolded for in a 1:1 at work? “Please stop saying ‘That’s why they pay me the medium bucks’ every time someone says “Thank you” it’s making people uncomfortable” comes to mind for me
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my boss got laid off, his boss signed off for the day, my coworker has a meeting with the VP in a few minutes and i have a meeting with the VP 30 minutes after that lol
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JT
@jiratickets4 Jun 2025
my manager sent me “😬” on slack and now I’m logged out. can’t get into my email either. guess I just have the rest of the day off now lol
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chance@chanceposts3 Jun 2025
you guys are not gonna believe this
chance@chanceposts22 May 2025
want to quit my job so I asked for 20K more because who cares at this point. worst case is they say no
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sky@skymutsuko28 Apr 2025
bf just told me he doesn’t like to use oat milk with his granola because it’s “conceptually upsetting” to have oats with more oats
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This is the second to last time that I am going to lament that many people don't know what "penultimate" means.
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The giant dragon fighting the smaller dragon watermark on my motion for extension of time raises a lot of question not answered in the motion
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#lawtwitter need help, stuck. What do I put for the reason why meet & confer has not happened for the case management? OC is big mad about the pending demurrer and has not responded
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The male urge to just directly tell a girl you like her and want to spend time with more than anything else
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