@chanceposts

I like my puns intended

 Atlanta, GA
Joined January 2020
  • Tweets6.2K
  • Following966
  • Followers6.1K
559Media
I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using chatgpt for anything
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What are you supposed to do when you feel like you’ve messed your entire life up
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All the dogs I’ve bet on lost and were immediately euthanized
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[quite possibly the most hopelessly depressed I’ve ever been] all good over here!
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Sometimes grief hits me so hard with no warning and I’m supposed to act as if I’m not being stabbed a billion times
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You can just tell anyone happy birthday and you’ll have a 1/366 chance of being right… tell a stranger happy birthday today
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Driving home from work. Time to forget how to operate a car and where my exit is so that I inconvenience everyone around me
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Leading a horse to water and telling him it’s cool if he doesn’t want to drink any and I just enjoy his company
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calling my dear friend Al Gore and telling him there’s something on his internet I don’t like and asking him to remove it
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No way
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I love saying we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it because yay we get to go over a bridge
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Y’all are not prepared for what’s coming
FactPost
@factpostnews
Jul 28
Texas police searched 83,000 Flock cameras nationwide to track down a woman who got an abortion.
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At work I said “they’re going to compare apples to apples and come up with kumquats” and no idea where that came from but it’s immediately going in my toolkit
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I am deserving of good things. Roasted balsamic broccoli, pasta with homemade sauce, and chicken breast
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I never really know what to do at any given moment, and my life is a direct consequence of that
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Humiliation kink
internet hall of fame
@InternetH0F
Jul 27
Kamala Harris is reportedly preparing to run for President of the United States again in 2028
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I think I’m going insane
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Jonathan Fine@jonathanbfine
Jul 24
sometimes you can tell from a person’s underlining in a used book that they aren’t going to make it
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The love of my life may or may not be on hinge but she is absolutely on twitter dot com
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Goodnight
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I keep having these dreams where I’m so deeply in love and it feels so real and then I wake up and realize I’ve never truly been loved
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