@ClassADude

I follow smart, funny people. Big plus to anyone with horror in their profile. I am liberal and #BLM .

 NorCal
xitter.cf/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=from%3Aclassadude%20-filter%3Areplies
Joined October 2010
  • Tweets153K
  • Following5.3K
  • Followers5.2K
3.1KMedia
Son: Do vampires poop? Me: Of course, where do you think Red Vines come from. Son: Gross. Do ghosts poop? Me: Cotton candy. Son: Haunted scarecrows? Me: Candy corn. Son: Werewolves? Me: Moon Pies Son: Witches? Me: The worst of the worst, black licorice.
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Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey@MonkeysMarchOct 17
Is he being funny? Is he sad? Is he being sarcastic? Does he have 12 bodies in his basement?
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Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricOct 16
Great, now I have to learn how to fly a car.
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NurseBrianRN@rn_murseOct 17
well, could a depressed person do this!?!? (lays on top of bed in a damp towel for 14 hours)
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Man of Letters@manofletterzOct 17
Happy saturday if you celebrate
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Functionally Feral@FeralFerrellOct 17
any man who applies the β€œyou did it with him, why don’t you do it with me” logic gets an automatic ejection from my life (i’d say women too but most of us don’t think like that)
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Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricOct 17
Saturday is the only weekend day. Everybody knows that.
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Trick or Sweet Momissa πŸŽƒπŸ‘»@sweetmomissaOct 16
Hey boy, are you the press secretary job. Because you can’t keep it filled.
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krista
@kristabellerinaOct 16
My kid, listing my qualifications: My mom knows what she’s talking about because she was born in the 1900s.
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Ava@avainwordlandOct 16
I told my dragon about you and now he hates you too.
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Marcmywords@Marcmywords2Oct 17
I said it was a joke, I didn’t say it was funny.
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Just Bill
@WilliamAderOct 16
Katie Zacharia we hardly knew ye. 🀣
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tater🍁@TrueTorontoGirlOct 16
My fridge light burnt out and I kind of feel like I lost a friend.
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krista
@kristabellerinaOct 16
These 24-month daily planners are optimistic about where the world is heading.
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Jenny Doesnt Know@HighlyIngeniousOct 17
Almost time for sleep & other lies I tell myself
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Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricOct 15
Nobody has ever been given garlic bread and been upset about it.
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October is always full of jump scares, but this year most are happening at gas station pumps.
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Just Bill
@WilliamAderOct 17
In the future, everyone will be White House Press Secretary for 15 minutes.
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tater🍁@TrueTorontoGirlOct 16
Weird how people don't like it when I say what's on my mind and speak up for myself.
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Forward March@RunOldManOct 16
"Home is wherever I'm with you" . . . I sing, staring at my pepperoni pizza.
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FαŽͺ᎒ ᏩαŽͺNᎠαŽͺᏞF@sofarrsogudOct 16
Comedians in flying cars shitting themselves
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