99 Server Problems

I was sad to discover that the rocket made it back to Earth and did not wipe out my restaurant. Happy Mother’s Day!

Wearing shorts to work. Might get fired, might not give a fuck 👍🏼

Is there any way to make it warmer in here? *rubs arms* Well I could set the Fucking table on fire! #shitiwanttosay

Hey, my bitches! I've been away for too damn long!

Every now and then it would be nice if people would acknowledge that you're on the same damn planet as they are.

All of my people are about to quit and probably fuck me out of a vacation, for which in turn I will burn this muther fucker down.

How many in your party? A bunch (Laughs). No, muther fucker, flowers and Bradys come in a bunch! Now give me a goddamn number! #ihateyou

If I could just win the lottery all my problems would be solve. #serverproblems

Sitting in the parking contemplating suicide, like I do before every shift. #hatemyjob

I hate this place! Cannot stress that enough.

When the Sunday crowd prays for "daily bread" they really mean it! #cheap #bread #serverproblems #tip20percentplease

Why am I not a rocket scientist?

Attention owners! Not everybody is trying to steal from you! Get over yourself 👊.

Looks like I found the employee handbook.

I work in the ugliest fucking restaurant in the world. You would really think it's the theme of the joint.

This snow bullshit has got to stop! ⛄️🔫

TGI-Fuck You! I hate this fucking job!

'Cause you know how it is, we gotta hustle those tips & make that money, money, money🎶💵

Idk what's worse, being at work with multiple assholes or coming home to one asshole that makes up for a whole shift's worth. #fml