Cαptαın Benson. •Parody•

Wouldn’t you like to know.

She’s very straightforward, I’ve taken quite a liking to her.

She came to me. Said that she’s your ‘mommy’ or something like that, and wanted to discuss you with your other mommy. Which is apparently me.

Mmm. I’ve. Been. Talking. To. Your. Wife?

And yet you still pine after me. I’ve been talking to Judy.

No.

When have you ever known me to make jokes like that?

….

That’s alright. I’ve already sewn one into your favourite jacket. …and put one in the sole of your shoes. Oh, and there’s the one in your car.

Well, yes. You’re quite noisy.

Can still be a quiet weekend, baby. We’ll just have to gag you.

“Oh, nothing. I was around… and a bit bored. Do you not accept walk-ins?” Olivia leaned back in the woman’s armchair, one leg over the other. “I’ve already made myself at home with a very strong coffee and bourbon, so…”

“Is that any way to greet an old friend, Em? You’re a terrible hostess.”

Well, if you had a name rather than a description, I could probably help you out more. Either way, one of them, I will not be sharing. No way in hell.

That does.. literally nothing to help me figure out which one you’re talking about.

Mm. Depends on which girlfriend you’re referring to.

…

If you’re a good girl… I’ll show exactly how I use my powers for good later tonight.

I don't know what you mean? The fact that you change four times a day and I have lesbian spidey senses? Not my fault. I use my powers for good, not evil.