Jeff Ferris

I apologize for any feral political subtweets from this eveni...wait....no I don't, my wife died and I retire in December there are no repercussions for anything I do or say LFGoooooooo!

I love whatever the fuck is happening right now

Oh hooooo fuck you Hotwheels and Paxton bout fukkin time

Met with an AWS newhire today and she had....questions...about a number of our roadmap and marketing decisions in the run-up to re:Invent. I told her to follow @QuinnyPig, it's more insightful than the QBR docs. Also, I've officially communicated my intent to retire at the end of the year. More on that post-re:Infect (traditionally held the week after re:Invent)

To whoever picked our new expense tool "emburse," I hope you got a kickback, and management finds out, and you go to jail for fraud.

Broke the hand off of my skeleton and super glue wasn't doing the trick. So, instead I'll use the "yes, and..."

When I first saw this I thought someone was using AI to generate dystopian images but nope, it's real. My daughter ordered a set to use as Halloween decorations.

Guys, how the fuck are y'all showing up for dates such that SO MANY women specifically add "good hygiene is a must" in their dating profiles? I mean wtf good hygiene is table stakes for *grocery shopping* much less socializing.

*STRIVE* to be. Our style guide allows strive to do a lot of heavy lifting.

Asked someone via one of the apps if she wanted to grab brunch and she asked when I last had an STI test. Excuse me miss how exactly do you eat pancakes 🥞 and also am I in hell?

Forked @mentisdb to play with letting my memory chains dream using a local ollama instance on a scheduled interval (to make it easier to wall off any unintended runaway token consumption). Got the basic hooks in place but I want to adjust temperature and generation params so it frequently has "working through a problem" dreams but occasionally it can have the equivalent of a "whoa is that from our meds?" dream.

This waking up before sunrise shit is going to have to stop

Ah, why hello Manic Defense Response, I've been expecting you! Get your pants on, we're going to Costco!

I don't know, a gun that only fires when I pull the trigger is sort of table stakes for me as far as feature sets go

I don't understand the people who put on cologne before they go for a run. Like I just walked past some dude going the other direction,and I can smell the route he took.

I tried Pillow, a meditation app on my headset, and at the end of the session it gave me a B. I was looking for guided meditation, not graded meditation. I feel like that's just going to give me more anxiety. 🤣

Those are a lot of words to still have no fucking idea what I'm looking at.

Discarded dating profile drafts: "Looking for someone who's name starts with A so I don't have to throw away these monogrammed towels. Extra points if your full name is Amy so I don't have to learn another goddamn name."

Hey @sleepnumber I'm sure this sounded like a great idea in the marketing meeting but my sleeping partner died last month. And what gets me...The data would show no one's been there. I just haven't been able to bring myself to delete her profile.