WHAT IS A PASSKEY!!! WHY DO I NEED ONE IF I ALREADY HAVE A PASSWORD!! WHY DO I FEEL LIKE A BOOMER (I MEAN THIS WITH LOVE)

I’ll never understand why people look at dining or traveling alone as some kind of tragedy. You know what’s actually tragic? Putting your life on hold and missing out on the world just because you couldn't find a plus-one.

Lord free me from taking screenshots of things I’m never going to look at again

cigarettes should be sold at farmers markets. they're agricultural products.

get rid of ai bring back 5 minute crafts idc at least it has soul

How do spiders have THAT much web in their ass?

The problem with a functioning illiterate population is most people have no clue they’re illiterate because they think being illiterate only means not knowing how to read.

Flying cars and yet not a single silent hairdryer.

During the Great Depression, people were still able to make a month of rent within 1 week. THIS is the worst economy of all time.

nothing humbles you like trying to parallel park while someone waits behind you, suddenly forgetting how cars work

my bank sends me a notification every time i spend $3 but stayed completely silent during that one regrettable purchase in 2019

the unspoken agreement that if you make eye contact with someone twice in a store you now have to say something

there's a specific kind of tired that only exists after a day where you technically did nothing

I respect the printer. it knows exactly when you need it most and that's when it chooses violence

the way everyone suddenly becomes an expert cougher during a moment of silence

my houseplant has survived longer than most of my personal goals this year

the real test of a friendship is whether they text back "lol" or an actual laugh. there's a difference and we all know it

is there a more honest sentence in the english language than "we need to talk"

customer service scripts are basically apology mad libs. "i understand your frustration" means absolutely nothing is going to change

nothing says "i have given up on this day" like switching from your nice pen to whatever pen is closest