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What this country needs right now is a little less "Kharg Island" and a little more "Car Guy Land"
Scaramouch retweeted
“White people are so dumb they think the fuckin earth is flat!”
“I’m a black guy and I think that.”
“Oh, interesting!”
Scaramouch retweeted
I think of myself as someone with a wide mental library & a brain good at making inobvious connections, but every time this guy posts I'm just in awe
This quoted post is unavailable.
Scaramouch retweeted
Prigozhin’s insurrection was probably the last time I felt anything close to wonder or excitement reading the news. Like a final heartbreak, its anti-climatic resolution permanently soured me
Scaramouch retweeted
> Deliver the letter
> Convince her it's real
> Buy broom from dollar store, musty-ass books, robes, an owl, everything for maximum immersion
> Drive to train station
> Watch her ram trolley into brick wall
> Pretend it was just a dream when she wakes up at the hospital
Scaramouch retweeted
Woman who emptied Knicks trashcan on street then stole it was DEI exec, worked at JPMorgan Chase trib.al/1pRwssL
Scaramouch retweeted
I make my own GIFs.
There ain't no Tenor GIF of the kid ejecting from his wheelchair from the universally reviled 2008 Hungarian animated film Kis Vuk.
Scaramouch retweeted
Doing this on repeat for hours in front of Wegmans’ entrance to prevent black people from entering, ceasing briefly as whites approach.
Scaramouch retweeted
Ricard Siagian, an Indonesian YouTuber, took ciprofloxacin (a fluoroquinolone) for a UTI. He eventually lost the ability to sleep. Every time he’d come close, he’d jolt awake. He documented his rapid deterioration on YouTube. It took him months to die.
Scaramouch retweeted
Always keep cash and a blade or blunt object on you. I was walking home one night and a guy on a bmx bike asked if I wanted to buy it. He requested a mere $10. I knew he stole it, but I had spraypaint at my house so I took him up on the deal. Then he inquired where he could get crack. It was 3 am but I knew just the place, so I directed him there whilst doing bunny hops and riding lazily on the back pegs. Then the crack dealer asked me about the bike and offered me $20 for it. Never accept the first offer. I told him i had it for years and was really sentimental about it, the guy who sold it to me earlier didn't utter a word because I already flashed the boxcutter I keep in my crewsocks when I went to grab the $10 earlier for him. We eventually settled on a trade of 3 grams of meth for it. I tell you this because I want you to remember that the whole world doesn't exist behind a screen, but rather with people who actually who go outside with an open mind. You always have to be ready to kill people though
Scaramouch retweeted
Imagine having a sense of smell hundreds of times more acute than a human’s and someone attaches an Indian to you where you can’t see him
You run and you run and the odor never diminishes
Scaramouch retweeted
The creepy hooded religious cult potential of this thing is truly considerable.
Standing around a circle in the woods, all facing each other, and you hear a lone jogger coming down the trailer to simultaneously turn your heads in their direction to open your beak to sing the song that ends all creation.
The possibilities are endless!
Scaramouch retweeted
Como se siente la vida ahora que se muestran nuestros tweets racistas traducidos a todo el mundo:
Scaramouch retweeted
Ever since I read this ten years ago, I’ve always added, to every request, “without stabbing me afterward”
A Missouri woman gave her boyfriend permission to slice her with a razor and suck blood, but stabbed him afterward nydn.us/2gfJcF5
