OFFICIAL STATEMENT - Yesterday, I made a serious mistake while trying to register the domain name helpdanny.org, and instead of directing all web traffic from it towards an appeal to help the recently arrested Danny Tommo, all visitors were sent to my RNLI appeal for The Flying Farage instead and it’s jumped up to £397,173. Upon realising my mistake, I tried to log back into the control panel provided by the domain name company, but I couldn’t find the piece of paper that I wrote the password on. Upon further investigation, I learned that my eight-year-old had turned it into a paper plane and it had flown out of the back door and into the garden, where a waiting badger picked it up and then ran off to use it as bedding in his sett. They can be quite vicious apparently so I didn’t want to try and get it back in case it scratched me, and so I’ve been trying to guess the password. I’m pretty certain that it’s 26 random characters long but with the word ‘frenulum’ in the middle, but until I’ve figured it out the domain name will have to take people to my RNLI appeal instead. Thanks for your understanding in this matter.