@sliceofheck

tubes

 right next door
Joined September 2021
  • Tweets20.9K
  • Following1.8K
  • Followers3.8K
271Media
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” I say, sexually attracted to large boats
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mom please don't make me go to the mormon kid's house again, their sexually frustrated parents keep making me play oreo hot sauce roulette
Agriculture Insider
@AgrinsiderhqOct 17
Hot sauce Oreo Roulette
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I’ll smell better later
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I ask my wife to never wipe her ass because im blind and i need the stink for location
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woke up this morning and punched my dick right off my body
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Farting is the new diarrhea
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I hate tweeting so much
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Matthew McConaughey just showed up in my yard, did jumping jacks for 10 minutes in complete silence and left
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saying i’m scared of the lego movie at alcoholics anonymous
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bats gossiping
painting of a bat using a pink flip phone to make a video call with another bat

ALT painting of a bat using a pink flip phone to make a video call with another bat

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I’ve always needed something that can do this
Tesla
@TeslaOct 16
Real life, baby
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The last thing you idiots need is a fucking flying car.
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A couple of marbles and my dad’s balls have formed the perfect newton’s cradle
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Mike Stoklasa arriving at the George Lucas Museum of Narrative Art
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Barbers hate when your hair grows back. “I thought I already took care of that shit,” they say as you return to their shop.
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slice retweeted
garshmo@garshmoOct 14
I could beat a guy in chess in one move it’s called the tombstone piledriver
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I can maintain an erection, I just refuse to
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When I said my grandpa died during WW2 I didn't mean World War 2, I meant Wayne's World 2. He choked to death on a Junior Mint in the theater.
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How are you always so damp and soggy you weirdo
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Life is mostly about waking up in the morning and deciding which side of your jeans you’re gonna put your balls down that day
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Eminem in 2026 be like “hickory dickory dock your mouth ran up my cock”
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