Mark Simpson

Someone sneak into the English change rooms and press the button that lowers the clouds #AUSvENG #Ashes

Pleased to have the 4 slips mentioned. Proper gully seemed to go out of vogue several years ago. Tend to set up as a 4.5 slip now. Interested to know whether there is hard data behind that or just preference.

Nice of the MCC to let The Ritchie’s into the Members’ Pavilion.

Does my memory fail me or does Australia have a better record than England in head to head tests at FortResSs EdGbASton this century?

Travis Head looks more and more like Warwick Todd every day.

Why are we still calculating batters’ strike rates per hundred balls? Do it as rpo or per 120 balls for T20 and save the rest of us doing the maths.

If I hear that ONE bowler in Melbourne has asked their teammates “dOeS aNYone HaVe a TowEl TO DRy ThE BaLL?” 5 minutes before the start of play today I will go off my lemon spread! FUCKING COME PREPARED!! #5Ps #oldblokerant #gocricket

You know you’re having a shit one when the Google satellite is capturing your dismissal. Chin up to this person 🙁

I understand why a consistent process is helps avoid error, but it would save us all a lot of time if the video review went to the obvious issue first. If it pitches a foot outside leg let’s not spend 2 minutes working out whether the batter got an edge #BBL #cricket

So if the Dooley LBW shout was last ball of game, 2 to win, given and overturned it’s a dot ball and game over? Even though they would have run 2 leg byes? Doesn’t seem right. Am I missing something? #BBL12

If you’re running with a two piece rock on your cricket themed ad you’ve already lost me.

After this extended pre-season I am officially seeing raindrops like watermelons #cricket

If by 'stats duplication' you mean my batting average has doubled, feel free to take your time @MyCricketAus

BEER ONLY EXPRESS LANE AT THE PUB!!! WORK IT OUT FFS!!

Lindt Flemington Straight Cadbury Don’t @ me

This is utterly appalling. Apart from the fact that treating someone like this is simply unacceptable, tell me why it is that shit players behave like they deserve to have world class umpires?

The reason I can’t be a pro tennis player is because I would say thank you every time a ball kid gave me another ball. It would be exhausting.

I ask myself this question daily…

Pace variation under-utilised in long form cricket. Punter - a man after my own heart 😍

In 12 seasons at the Uni Main I never once saw a pole vaulter clear a bar.