Stand Up Comedian. Recovering Alcoholic. Relapsed Catholic. Aspiring Narcissist. Booking/Inquiries: reallyzerilli@gmail.com
Traverse City, MI
Joined April 2016
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Matthew Zerilli retweeted
I love this fucking weirdo. Go check out his new special!
My new special / album is out today. Hope you like it. Tell a friend.
album.link/jokejokejoke
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
what the heck is a your fravirite of all the dang thranksgivings foods? easy. crangberrys. don’t forget to rub all the brown sauce on your turkey hole ya dingus. #foryourturkey
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
At the very least, I’m sure Lauren Bobert can now land an assistant manger position at The Buckle.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
Every school should ban cellphones. Give kids at least one space where they can think clearly. I went to high schools that did it (e.g. Berkeley High) & they were stunned by the improvement.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
I’m not sure how you can claim to be tough while simultaneously feeling threatened by M&M’s and Disney movies but ok.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
Hey @elonmusk. Are u paying the whole 44 billion up front or do u have payments. Because thats where they get ya
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
Will Smith attacked Chris Rock and then helped us all heal by explaining how tough God’s plan for him is.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
People are asking me why I endorsed the use of "We're Not Gonna Take It" for the Ukrainian people and did not for the anti-maskers. Well, one use is for a righteous battle against oppression; the other is a infantile feet stomping against an inconvenience.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
‘Menace to public health’: 270 doctors call out Spotify over Joe Rogan’s podcast theguardian.com/technology/2…
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
I’m stunned by the lack of sympathy for Antonio Brown. He’s clearly struggling. Is this how we treat people who are going through difficult times?
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
Never forget… this time in our lives when a bunch of people refused to get a vaccine for a preventable virus that killed 3,000 alone in florida yesterday.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
If drugs were sold commercially and legal, you would not have to worry about cartels putting fentanyl in them.
Ever open a Miller Lite and been concerned about it being poisoned?
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Matthew Zerilli retweeted
@FlyFrontier just kicked my deaf girlfriend off the flight after she couldn’t understand what the attendant was saying. She said “i’m sorry I’m deaf, and only read lips” then the flight attendant mocked her and called the service rep to have us removed. Absolutely disgusted.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
“I would’ve loved to have ended up in a wheelchair to appease a bunch of people who didn’t give a shit about gymnastics until a week ago.” -Simone Biles (Gymnastics, U.S.A.) bit.ly/3C7e5TD
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
Simone Biles proves that you can literally do backflips for this country and still have people call you a “lazy weak American” for giving a shit about your mental health over their idea patriotism.
Matthew Zerilli retweeted
Windmills and Ted Cruz’s children are taking this country down a very dark path.
