I'm a Texpatriate, livin' the dream in California.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined January 2011
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Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
This wins the internet 🤣xitter.cf/TheKiffness/status/183…
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
I have been diagnosed with 15 tumors and need to qualify for @sagaftra health insurance by 6/30/24. Hope you can help. ❤️ – at Los Angeles, CA
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
When I’m governor, we won’t have to worry every time the temperature drops.
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
i now have a song with billy ray cyrus and miley cyrus, i will not rest until i’ve collected every cyrus stone to harness the ultimate power.
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
Jake Meyers is hitting .341 (15x44) in his first 15 games. Stud. #ForTheH
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
Good morning to everyone but NYC, #SquadUp fans & absentee fathers everywhere. Man up and embrace your responsibilities…just like @JoseAltuve27 does every time he sees @TheJudge44. Only poverty franchises are 8 games out. (Grand finale photoshop: @Northside_Mike) #ForTheH🔥🤘🏼
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
The CDC says vaccinated bisexuals can be slutty, greedy stereotypes without shame.
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
I wish The Brave Little Toaster hadn’t traumatized me as a child, leaving me worried that all my appliances have feelings, cause I really need to throw out this broken Keurig.
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
Surely there is no connection between these two things
As 45 million Americans lost their jobs, U.S. billionaires made $584 billion. abcn.ws/3dGbAKz
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
Oklahoma emergency room Dr. Samantha White says it's a “terrible idea" to hold the planned Trump rally in Tulsa because coronavirus cases “are up over 100% over the past week.” on.msnbc.com/3dciQNT
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
Yeah sex is great but have you ever seen people dump the statue of a slave owner in the very river where his slave ships used to dock.
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
IMPORTANT: In coming weeks, as #COVID19 numbers stay high (or rise) in many states, @realdonaldtrump may try to blame it on #BlackLivesMatter protests. As an ER doc, I can tell you it’s a stunt designed to evade accountability & should be refuted ASAP. Here are the facts: 1/8
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
One kid at the pizza party would always eat the pepper in the pizza box and everyone would go crazy
Randy Wade Kelley retweeted
The Pentagon’s “oh BTW UFOs are real” is the most 2020 thing imaginable.
It’s only getting weirder from here.
