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Phil Weber

@philweber

Technical trainer at @newrelic. Curator of fine humor. https://xitter.cf/t.co/pM3HMWni3N

 Saint Helens, OR
philwebervoiceover.com/
Joined October 2008
  • Tweets2.8K
  • Following146
  • Followers243
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Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)Photo by Phil Weber (@philweber)
Replying to @quantumfiber
@quantumfiber Last Friday, my Internet went offline with no advance notice. Quantum’s website and chat support reported that there was no outage at my address. 1/3
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When a tech came out on Monday, he said that Lumen had removed the fiber optic cable in my neighborhood to move it underground. I had to switch to another Internet provider on short notice in order to do my job. 2/3
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I would have expected Quantum to notify me well in advance of disabling my Internet access, and at the very least to know that there was an outage when I contacted you for support. Please do better. 3/3
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I am interested in talking to organizations that are using Action Mapping to create customer technical training. If you know of any, please send them my way! #instructionaldesign lnkd.in/gUsBUxMJ

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I just thought of a great pet name: Jimmy Kibble! :)
I didn’t realize bad vision is a problem for piranhas. I would have expected dental issues :)
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Filling out my annual review
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Yes, family from Mariupol: Did productivity myths help you escape? 🙂
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Phil Weber retweeted
New Relic (@newrelic) profile picture
New Relic
@newrelic28 Jan 2022
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟥 Not Wordle, just that one server that's always going down
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Join me this Weds (Nov 3) for some FREE hands-on training to level up your New Relic skills: • Instrumenting Your Service Using Agents • Collecting Custom Data • Test True Availability Using Synthetic Monitors newrelic.com/events/data-ner…
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I saw somebody say that Joel Osteen looks like Martin Short pretending to be Tim Allen and I can’t unsee it now, it’s the most accurate statement ever uttered.
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Phil Weber retweeted
clare (@Clare3D) profile picture
clare@Clare3D28 Aug 2021
Uh huh.
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Then why ever see a doctor? Let that disease or injury kill you so you can get to heaven faster. If it’s a contagious disease, take your loved ones with you!
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Who wrote this line? It makes me LOL every time. #thegoodplace
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Phil Weber retweeted
helen (@helen) profile picture
helen@helen2 May 2021
growing up i had a friend who was convinced the lyrics were “don’t go, jason waterfalls” and i think about it constantly. why would it be that. who is jason
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*Being murdered* "Oh good now I don't have to go to that team-building session at work today"
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Facebook reminded me of this.
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Fun Fact: Polar bears used to be brown but turned white through evolution because police kept shooting them.
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Too soon?
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue. I was surprised. Australians usually boo meringue.
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