::on my deathbed:: One of my kids: Mom, can I have a sip of your water?

Should I start tweeting again

My grandfather used to do deliveries for a local Ford dealership and would go every which way around town to avoid a left turn. I think about him every time a left turn stresses me out.🥰

It’s hard for me to get mad at the empathy is a sin crowd because it’s just one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

Stop saying “let’s normalize...” Just be a weird little freak, who cares.

Reading this now and went to find this tweet to say I’d buy this bumper sticker for my minivan.

All the Christmas hymn writers went so hard.

Left a $200 Zojirushi bread machine on the shelf at Goodwill for $25 because I don’t need it. So proud of myself rn

How has everyone been? Danny cleans the kitchen almost every night, but he’s gone tonight and I don’t want to do it so much that I logged in here to avoid it. Ca you believe it? I’m a 41 year old baby. Speaking of babies my oldest turned 17 yesterday. I love having teenagers.

In the book Wellness by Nathan Hill, a character talks about certainty as being the flip side of pain, people saying “I am hurting, and no one is paying attention.” My friend @MatthewEPierce says dudes like this are scared. I think it’s probably both.

If you’re prepping for Hurricane Milton, don’t forget to turn off your screen time reporting for the week. We don’t need to live through a once a century storm then get judged by our phones on Sunday morning for scrolling Instagram for 17 hours.

Ever sit around the dinner table for an hour and an half and shoot the shit with your 12-16 year old children? 10/10 recommend.

My for you keeps showing me stuff about parenting toddlers and newborns even though last week I went into my kids’ bathroom and got annoyed that they were also out of tampons.

With the helpful guidance of my life coach (Danny), I decided to use any Barnes & Noble gift cards I receive on books I read through the library and loved and want to own. Today I ordered Pachinko and The Nickel Boys. ♥️📚

You guys remember the “Yes, I Believe in God” campaign? Remember when a school shooting was so rare we could capitalize on it to encourage teens to be better Christians? And write ccm chart-topping songs about it?

Really need to stop seeing so many cyclists without helmets. I am begging people to stop being idiots about this.

Writing a book just so I can self-righteously NOT do this.