@mentalpause1

The glass is half-full AND half-empty. I can be in 2 places at the same time. This rabbit hole never ends from:@mentalpause1

 Surfside
Joined August 2018
  • Tweets68.2K
  • Following1.5K
  • Followers4.1K
703Media
Mike Mentalpause retweeted
SD@StupiDucker2h
My neighbor has a giant skeleton coming out of their lawn and I'm like you're going to want to stay down there.
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Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker27 Feb 2015
I'm kind of old-fashioned. I still listen to music on actual CDs and sacrifice children to placate the wrath of God.
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Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHater11h
Dressing like an old timey newsboy and shouting "EXTRA, EXTRA!" before reciting my tweets in public
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Jen@SleepEatScreamAug 23
You can’t change people and their bullshit but you can definitely keep your distance from it.
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oh fuck I forgot to check for spelling and grammar
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker5h
I did a bunch of breathing tests at the pulmonologist’s office today, each one sexier than the last.
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Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHaterOct 18
Will Smith, please slap people. America needs you.
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Jen@SleepEatScream18 Sep 2025
If they’re sad offer them cheese.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHater10h
[Pointing at roadkill] This guy gets it
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My two moods: absolutely not and unfortunately yes.
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Due to climate change less hot is the new cool.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
SD@StupiDuckerOct 18
I like to say "you can't make that up" to things that are completely made up just to see if anyone will correct me.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
ugh ™@oconeebuildr14h
it’s important to remind youngsters they’re not even close to rock bottom
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
maya@mayapo1ogiesOct 19
just drove my chevy all the way to the levy. you’re not gonna fucking believe this.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHaterOct 18
My services include standing in the corner and using a slide whistle while you have sex
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Social media has become a coping mechanism.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 15
It’s never too late to make as many fuck ups as you can.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 17
Jump out of bed ready to seize the day? No, I don’t do that.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 18
It’s never too late to become a better version of yourself. Just kidding, you’re screwed.
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Mike Mentalpause retweeted
ugh ™@oconeebuildrOct 17
a lady with blue eyeshadow is lecturing me about putting ketchup on steak, hwg 😡
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