Partner & Designer at @townshipagency. Music: https://xitter.cf/t.co/tmIzuC9G2p Podcasts: #MaATwYaJPTwY @realgoodbadshow @workingfile @gridshow.

Providence, RI
Joined February 2007
Woman Dies After Doorknob Rips Earbuds Out l8r.it/poSs
1
5
Business is booming today horses.name/
1
1
341
My latest for @REALpunknews
New Spotify Feature Allows You to Listen to Music and Podcast at the Same Time, so You Never Have to Deal With an Intrusive Thought Again l8r.it/xx3O
2
1
477
Sad to be losing my blue checkmark today
1
1
1
305
A company that makes extreme camping gear called In Tents
1
2
243
Still gotta be better than dating apps.
Warm Hoodie Out Of Dryer Doing Its Best As Stand-In for Human Contact l8r.it/XLST
1
1
363
He needs to watch that octopus documentary. xitter.cf/REALpunknews/status/16…
Vegan Hardcore Band Forced to Settle for Pescatarian Bass Player l8r.it/x2ir
1
255
It’s too bad there’s no one left on social media to read my latest for @REALpunknews
Man Hangs on to Social Media Just a Little Longer to See How Departure Announcement Does l8r.it/y894
1
222
I was born to write this xitter.cf/REALpunknews/status/16…
Graphic Designer Saves New File as “Bane Flyer FINAL FINAL.PSD” l8r.it/3N1S
1
215
Not paying attention while you watch Memento really adds to the experience
1
195
I fell asleep watching Memento and I can’t remember where I left off
1
5
360
Matt McInerney retweeted
👋 We’ve partnered with the AI overlords just in time to help you create holiday cards for the special people in your life. Sure, it can get a little dark, but we think it will work in a pinch. #townshipholidai happyholidays.ai/
2
3
I only listen to one-man black metal side projects.
I Only Listen to Metal, and Also a Bunch of Other Stuff When No One Is Around l8r.it/IHl5
I'm just a pedal away from being good though xitter.cf/REALpunknews/status/16…
I Said I’m a Guitar Nerd, I Didn’t Say I’m Good thehardtimes.net/blog/i-said…
Based on a character I created xitter.cf/REALpunknews/status/15…
Brewery Full of Bearded 34-Year-Olds Turn Around as Woman Shouts “Hey Matt!” thehardtimes.net/culture/bre…
1
Alright, let's give this a spin: Do cashews and peanuts ever look at walnuts and ask, "OMG, what happened?!" xitter.cf/REALpunknews/status/15…
My Hilarious Tweet Would Have Gone Viral if Not for the Terrible Mismanagement of Twitter Recently l8r.it/ZDbs
1
I'm protesting Twitter by not thinking of any funny tweets.
1
1
So if any of my tweets are ever not hilariously funny, it's for a good cause.
1
A lot of people will see this as a personal attack. Just no way to identify who those people are.
Man’s Tattoos Too Generic To Identify Body l8r.it/NFFQ
1