jb (@lizardbruja) header
jb (@lizardbruja) profile picture

jb

@lizardbruja

recovering horse girl

 she/her/ella
Joined February 2012
  • Tweets17.5K
  • Following168
  • Followers296
808Media
Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)Photo by jb (@lizardbruja)
Lives were changed
Image from Sarah ꨄ (@ambiviolencing)
Lisa Vanderbump (@confideinm3) profile pictureLisa Vanderbump@confideinm3Nov 10
thinking about her
Image from Lisa Vanderbump (@confideinm3)
Image from Lisa Vanderbump (@confideinm3)
Image from Lisa Vanderbump (@confideinm3)
Image from Lisa Vanderbump (@confideinm3)
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Picking up a show where the main character looks like this and asking if it stops being quirk chungus
Image from maren🍒 (@the0nlygirl)
🖤 viv 🖤 (@ffdyke) profile picture🖤 viv 🖤@ffdykeOct 22
watching the first episode of new girl, does it stop being so Quirk Chungus or is that just the tone of the show forever
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They’ll put an AI assistant up your ass if you’re not careful
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this is what they did to me at work today
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Looking at the cover of a goosebumps book is scary but worth it
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i go to work, i make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me and then i clock out
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if you die in sudoku you die in real life
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mais uma semana de trabalho
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Bar nothing the funniest thing anyone has ever done
zaso ✟ 📹 (@ev1lzaso) profile picturezaso ✟ 📹
@ev1lzasoOct 18
watching one of the greatest episodes of television of all time
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I’m a 37 year old licensed professional and this has been stuck in my head all damn day
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jb retweeted
wint (@dril) profile picture
wint
@drilOct 19
when the CIA attempted to recruit me, they said I could suck any cock on earth. Any I desire. I turned down their offer because i am not Gay
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just drove my chevy all the way to the levy. you’re not gonna fucking believe this.
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lift ten times your weight. voraciously consume sugary liquids. kill anyone who doesnt smell like you. ant mode.
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tweeting is just a way to relieve the catholic urge to confess
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jb retweeted
jack (@jackhw_) profile picture
jack@jackhw_Oct 9
crackle and pop looking for their friend:
PINKVANILLA (@2lesbians1dildo) profile picturePINKVANILLA@2lesbians1dildoOct 8
Me when I wanna cross the road safely
Image from PINKVANILLA (@2lesbians1dildo)
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NEW LIFE RUINING VOCAL STIM JUST DROPPED OH GODDDDJDHDHSHSHSJSHAHAHAJAHAJAJAJJA
Gaga Daily (@gagadaily) profile pictureGaga Daily
@gagadailyOct 6
Lady Gaga’s reaction to someone smoking in the front row 😭
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absolutely NOTHING could've prepared me for this im crying genuine tears from laughing so hard
ㅅㅃㅃ (@bbangbbi05) profile pictureㅅㅃㅃ@bbangbbi05Oct 6
고1때부터 기상알람 이건데 정확히 10초부터 지랄시작돼서 10초전에 일어나서 꺼야함 매일아침이긴장의연속
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guy in every customer-facing AI ad: hey Gargl, do I need to wear a jacket today? Gargl: yes. it’s chilly out. guy: phew, thanks Gargl! Now I can spend more time doing what matters most: hanging out with my family
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g (@34rths) profile picture
g@34rthsOct 2
Girl who is still weird: I was so weird back then
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“Fucking the text man for texts”, “Young hoes cook everything on high”, “Omg you people can’t do anything” and “We’ve extensively talked about this, you’re just 21” are the four greatest tweets ever made. The philosophical impact cannot be understated. Socratic level thinking
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