I’m just relieved that an American team won the Super Bowl.

A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever.

The U2 was such an effective spy plane, that it created a rock music group so successful that any references to U2 as an airplane could hide out on the 9th page of Google results.

Just in case you're not feeling old today, 1918 is as far away from 2021 as 1990 is from 2021.

I've lived in Florida for some time now, and I've created an AI prototype. Imagine if security cameras in the garages of high-rise parking garages could also notice damage to the concrete of the building itself? towardsdatascience.com/how-a… Video: youtube.com/watch?v=g4tnZTgh… #surfside

If you need a COVID-19 vaccine, I recommend Pfizer. You can pfind it in the pfonebook and it's pfantastic.

I was watching a game show from 2013, and it weirdly predicts the issues of 2020 with 2 back-to-back questions.

I made a mash up of those anti-mask people from Palm Beach, Floirida with the angry people of Pawnee from Parks and Rec.

SpaceX and NASA just delayed the launch 17 minutes before it was supposed to go at 4:33 p.m. and will now lift off Saturday at 4:22 p.m. just to fuck with people who like round numbers.

How's everyone Spring Outbreak going? Spring Outbreak!

I keep hearing people say "well *actually* the new decade begins in 2021 since there was no year 0." Nah, the year 0 was just the year before year 1. Try starting your week on a Tuesday and telling your boss "well actually because I forgot to write it down, Monday didn't exist."

The worst day of my life was when I learned that mayonnaise is actually bad for you. I was 30.

Life is like a piñata, which you can always win because children are weak and susceptible to elbows. – at Orlando, FL

I just want everyone to know that I was in Paris last year so this whole Notre Dame fire is definitely about me too.