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Jonny Svarzbein

@jjscomedy

I'm a Writer/Performer/Nerd at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre - Los Angeles. @ucbtla https://xitter.cf/t.co/Or44MdhA0E

 Los Angeles
soundcloud.com/goofballs-podcast
Joined September 2009
  • Tweets2.8K
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  • Followers2.5K
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Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)Photo by Jonny Svarzbein (@jjscomedy)
I feel like half the Dads in New Jersey look like thumbs. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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15th Anniversary Show @JoinTheDynasty this Saturday May 13th 10pm with @MosesStorm @msdanifernandez @TheRealMorrison @phillamarr @MaggieMaeFish @halrudnick @alana_johnston @markeiamccarty @ShaneHartline @jjscomedy @keithtellsjokes Jonah Ray, Marc Andreyko, Justin Donaldson & more
Image from Tournament of Nerds (@TournamentNerds)
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I’m tweeting so that my account doesn’t get deleted for inactivity.
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Replying to @FernieCommaAlex
To this day the thing that sticks in my mind the most about Seeso is the slogan @jjscomedy came up with for free: “If you Seeso, say so!”
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World War Z has hit @mydeadneighbors! @adampeacock13 heads to Arizona to talk to Saul Weitzman (@jjscomedy), the Rabbi of the only all zombie congregation Synagogue in Tucson. Don’t miss it: bit.ly/2ZZEq4v
Image from My Neighbors Are Dead (@mydeadneighbors)
Image from My Neighbors Are Dead (@mydeadneighbors)
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I have a good joke about sand, but its very dry humor.
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I have a good deodorant joke but it has to be told very quickly to work. Its a Speed Schtick. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Jonny Svarzbein retweeted
Conner McCabe (@Conner_McCabe) profile picture
Conner McCabe@Conner_McCabe17 Nov 2021
I bullied @jjscomedy into guesting on @CallMeBYourGame where I got him to admit all kinds of goss. Enjoy!
Call Me By Your Game (@CallMeBYourGame) profile pictureCall Me By Your Game@CallMeBYourGame17 Nov 2021
HADOUKEN!! Ep.93 is here and we chat Street Fighter II with @jjscomedy who says he loves to play with “cheap characters only”
Image from Call Me By Your Game (@CallMeBYourGame)
Image from Call Me By Your Game (@CallMeBYourGame)
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Hi @MichaelBuble . My wife and i are big fans and had a quick and very specific Q about the Hamm & Bublé sketch on SNL. Was the sung line, “Oh for days” improvised? Specifically the “Oh” in the beginning of the line? Your answer will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Stuck Suez Canal Boat is the Tiger King of 2021.
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Everytime i make a shredded cabbage side dish, something goes wrong. I guess that’s just Murphy’s slaw. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Maybe the guy that wrote down the Mayan calendar made a typo and switched the 1 and the 2 at the end? 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Jonny Svarzbein retweeted
drewfromtv (@DrewFromTV) profile picture
drewfromtv
@DrewFromTV7 Jan 2021
It doesn’t take “all the police” to make the whole force look corrupt. It just takes a small group of them. Any Marines remember the phrase “It’s always that 10% that make it harder for everyone else”?
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Santa Claus will be a COVID super spreader 😔🎅🏼🚫
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“Okay, so you’re the female ruler of an empire. 🎶 That don’t Empress me much. 🎶 ” - Punia Twain
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This whole time i thought the P in “WAP” stood for “Pubis” 😔
Everyone is saying this is a “tight overall contest” but everyone i see on TV is wearing regular pants? Not a single strapped dungaree in sight. 🤷🏻‍♂️ #Election2020
The way I quickly scour my TV screen super-intently for any little thing during the 30 second clue package during @MaskedSingerFOX is probably the same way QANON whackos look at every single thing, every single second, of every single day 🤷🏻‍♂️#vote #Election2020
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If Trump was running for re-election as Democrat, I would vote for whomever was the republican candidate for president. #Election2020
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Flies are attracted to pieces of shit. That fly stayed on Pence’s head a loooooong time. #VPDebate2020
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