@jctwritesstuff

Author. Screenwriter. Editor. Bandito. I drink a lot. https://xitter.cf/t.co/I8icG668YO

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Joined May 2015
  • Tweets13K
  • Following5.5K
  • Followers22.4K
1.4KMedia
Can't. Assembling my Dark Army.
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btw the science folder is green. always has been. always will be.
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maya@mayapo1ogiesOct 19
just drove my chevy all the way to the levy. you’re not gonna fucking believe this.
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Wife: On my way home. Need anything at CVS? Me: Do they sell bourbon at CVS? Wife: No. Me: Then no.
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Cornbread is just dinner cake.
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disappointed that the bad guys in real life are really dumb. Not one smooth criminal in the batch.
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Mike Pesca
@pescamiOct 5
You just never expect things to go wrong in, of all places, a Russian Plague Lab.
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most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
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miri@mishtimereSep 29
everybody makes pilates seem so girly girl pretty pink coquette aesthetic cutie pie and in reality its like training for the military
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Víkrám
@gvicksSep 28
My to-do list has evolved from productivity tool to historical record of good intentions.
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JP@jpbrammerSep 25
[tracy chapman voice] you gotta mask bar
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Softboy@softcreateeeSep 25
I hate when I drink too much water and I can hear it moving around in my stomach. Makes me feel like a coconut.
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as an adult you literally have 30 minutes to celebrate a win until you face another inconvenience
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The lesbian bar story is a writing masterclass in how to include details that don’t necessarily advance the plot but enhance the work. Case in point: clown school
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I talked to some kids about encyclopedias and they thought I was having a stroke
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I can handle being an adult for maybe 3 to 4 hours a day, but the full 24-hour commitment is uncalled for.
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Today I heard someone say “true wealth is mental health.” So, great, I’m poor twice now
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hot girls hate ai
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َ@gffyoqSep 23
"that's not realistic" yeah not for YOU, you unwhimsical mf.
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You live in Texas? With the chainsaw massacres?
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Slappy@SlapmemamSep 21
i’ve reflected on my behavior and unfortunately i remain hilarious
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