Me: [watching football]
Wife: [silently reading at the end of the couch for three quarters of the game]
Announcer: That was a huge sack!
Wife: BAHAHAHA HUGE SACK
I’ve never seen Bigfoot but I just saw gas for $3.99/gallon so I think I know what it feels like.
The Real Rodney Lacroix retweeted
My kid just told me his toast is too crunchy. Please respect our privacy during this trying time
The Real Rodney Lacroix retweeted
Being an adult is simply saying, “After this week, things will slow down!” Over and over until you die.
This time of year reminds me when I was walking Jax years ago and a car stopped to ask me where all the Salem witch attractions were. 
The look on their faces when I told them they were in the wrong state. 
Got a new poop-bag holder for the leash and not gonna lie I'm pretty excited for my dog to take a shit later.
My boss is on vacation next week and just told everyone that I'm in charge while he's gone so GONNA BE A TOUGH WEEK FOR YOU, DENNIS, I SWEAR TO GOD JUST TRY ME
If you've ever watched anyone try to back a Ford F-150 into a parking spot you know this is a terrible idea.
Me [watching the Tesla Roadster flying car debut]: What a ridiculously stupid frigging thing.
CyberTruck owners: OMG.
I wish life had my iPhone's photo "Clean Up" feature where I could just swipe over people I want to make go away.
Me: They arrested that kid who killed his mom.
Wife: I wonder what his motive was.
Me: They said she was fostering 84 cats.
Wife: Oh.
Just passed $250,000 in vacation bookings for 2026—with over TWO MONTHS left!
My parents were right: I’m good at making people go away.
THANK YOU to my clients and everyone helping make RodTrip Adventures a success!
DM me. You could be next.









