Joey chestnut memorial hot dog theme park , because he ate hotdogs faster than we breathe @joeyjaws #rollercoastertycoon

a superhero who by day is a mild mannered lactation consultant

a coin operated toilet but you pay to flush

I am not a pregnant man. One of my @discord admins changed my role to be a pregnant man emoji. @discord_support it’s my body my choice, please let me edit this on mobile

Unemployment World Part 1 #jakerydont #unemployment #rollercoastertycoon2

Less than 3 hours until I host a modest charity livestream to fund the sheltering of animals displaced by the LA Wildfires. Join me in playing retro Zoo Tycoon on Twitch and YouTube. tilt.fyi/0yLTc5SkFp

7 year old: “8 billion years ago a meteor hit planet earth and it made a hard time for the dinosaurs. They took a big L and went extinct”

Boomer World 3 - There are starving kids so please overeat #rollercoastertycoon2 #boomerworld #jakerydont

I once walked into a Von Maur and an elderly, virtuoso-level pianist was playing a complex arrangement of the theme from Godfather, and I knew I wasn’t affording anything there

You can’t experience all of Boomer World in a day #rollercoastertycoon2 #boomer #jakerydont

UHC shooter popping up everywhere like elf on the shelf

Watching Macy’s parade with my kid. McDonald’s float rolls up. KID: look, Grimace is in the parade! And the McDonald’s guy. Grimace is the one that kidnaps you when you drink the Grimace shake

Thanksgiving Thursday and Friday at 10PM: I DONT HAVE DIABETES (and you can too) LIVE FUNDRAISER CHARITY STREAM twitch.tv/jakerydont Multistream on YouTube and TikTok

[kid lost argument with me] 7 YEAR OLD: Mommy? ME: she’s busy. And she’s going to be on my side 7: she’s too sweet to be on your side.

Fuck

I love the idea of burning one ballot box in a non swing state